


Counting By Fours

by MagicQuill42



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 07:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16909062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicQuill42/pseuds/MagicQuill42
Summary: Quadruplets Au.A slice of life about single father Thomas Sanders and his quadruplets: Roman, Patton, Logan, and Virgil.





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone else had been asleep at the time. Which made sense, after all the sun wasn’t up yet and the human body needed a full circle of sleep to stay pretty. Or so Ro-Ro liked to keep saying. A lot.

Virgil didn’t even remember why he got up because about halfway down the stairs he heard the shouting and froze.

“You can’t just leave!” He heard Daddy shout. “Think of the boys and what this will do to them.”

“I don’t care!” Papa snapped back. “This wasn’t what we had planned, Thomas. We agreed on one kid, not four.”

“And by some miracle we got lucky! Don’t you love them? Don’t you… don’t you love me?”

“My loving you is the only reason I stuck around so long. But this isn’t what I want! Four kids it’s- it’s too much! I can tell it’s wearing on you too. I just-“

“Stop.” Daddy said. “Just stop. If you don’t want to be here? Fine. I won’t make you stay. But don’t you dare try to get me swept up in a decision you’re gonna regret. Cause guess what? You will regret it. And you have a choice to make right here and now. Either you come back to bed, put that stupid suitcase away, and try twice as hard tomorrow…

“Or you leave. Leave me, leave the boys. You leave us and you don’t come back. But the minute you walk out that door I don’t ever want to see your face again.”

Virgil listened closely and snuck down a couple more steps. Papa and Daddy were standing in front of the door, staring at each other. There were tears on Daddy’s face and Papa’s hand was resting on a suitcase that could probably fit both Virgil and Patty if they squished.

Virgil was scared, but he wasn’t too worried really. Papa loved them, there’s no way he’d really leave and he’d realize that in a minute. The much bigger fear was being caught out of bed.

Just as Virgil thought this, though, Papa’s eyes locked on his.

Something passed between them and all fear of being caught rushed out of his mind. Virgil shook his head quietly.

No, he begged silently. Don’t. Please don’t.

Something softened in Papa’s eyes and he looked away.

“I’m sorry. I really-“

“Just get out.” Daddy snapped.

“I love y-“

“I said get out!”

Papa recoiled but did what Daddy asked. The suitcase almost didn’t make it behind him before Daddy slammed the door and fell to the ground, tears taking over.

Virgil was frozen, hardly noticing he was crying too. He was torn between comforting one dad, running after the other and screaming for him to come back, and running back under his covers until the sun dies (which Lo-Lo said wouldn’t be for a bajillion years so he’d have some time).

Another sob from Daddy made his choice for him.

He raced down the stairs and wrapped his small arms around his dad. They didn’t fit all the way but he felt the man go still underneath him all the same.

Daddy frantically scrubbed some of the tears away.

“Virge? Honey what are you doing up?”

Virgil shrugged. “I was getting water… I think. I don’t remember, Papa was loud and it made me forget.”

Daddy chuckled, but in a wet way that made it sound fake.

“Can’t say I blame you.”

He stood and scooped Virgil into his arms before heading back up the stairs. Virgil gently reached up and brushed some of the tears away.

He was quiet for a moment, trying to think of what he could say to make Daddy feel better. There wasn’t much.

“I don’t think I like loud doors.” He settled on.

Daddy did that wet laugh again. The one that wasn’t really a laugh, but wasn’t really a sob either. Some kinda in-between sound.

“Me neither, buddy.”

“Papa’s not coming back, is he?”

Daddy stopped and Virgil’s head screamed at him.

Nononono! Wrong thing wrong thing! Say something else! Don’t say that! Now he’s crying harder and it’s cause of what you said!

“No buddy.” Daddy said finally. “He’s not. But I want you to know it’s not because of any of you, okay? Nothing any of you said, or did, or didn’t do is the reason he left okay?”

Daddy put him back on the ground and looked deep into his eyes. Virgil squirmed under the gaze, but he didn’t try to leave it.

“Sometimes,” Daddy said. “…sometimes people are… sometimes people have a picture in their head of what they want. And sometimes, when real life doesn’t match that picture, they pack up and try to make it match. It can work sometimes, but in Papa’s case his picture didn’t have any of us in it. And that’s his mistake.”

Virgil nodded, his own eyes getting a bit wet. “Are you…”

He hesitated, not wanting Daddy to cry again.

“Yeah?”

“Are we in your picture?” He asked, praying Daddy didn’t cry some more.

He didn’t. Or at least, if he did Virgil didn’t see because he was too swept up in a suffocating hug. He took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of stale pancakes along with a good deal of his dad’s tee shirt.

His dad stroked his hair gently. “Virgil, you guys are my picture.”

Virgil sniffled against his will. “Oh. Good. …you’re my picture too, Daddy.”

Daddy laughed and pulled back. He was crying some more, but at least there was a smile too.

It faded a little too quickly as he looked at the bedroom door. He ran a hand through his hair, eyebrows knitting together.

“I don’t know how I’m gonna tell your brothers…” he said quietly. “I have to go to work in an hour too. And my phone’s broken too- Gah, why couldn’t this have happened on a weekend?”

Virgil felt a sudden rush of purpose. It was coupled with the sense that, maybe he wasn’t supposed to have heard that and that Daddy was just thinking out loud, but he felt the purpose all the same.

Finally, a way he could actually help instead of being a useless, crying lump on a log.

“I can do it!” He offered excitedly. “I can explain it the same way you explained it to me! With the pictures and stuff.”

Daddy looked at him, eyes a little wider than normal.

“Virgil, no- I couldn’t ask you to do that!”

Virgil shook his head. “You aren’t. I’m asking to do it. It’s like… Flopsy Bunny from the story. When she told the farmer so that Flabbit Rabbit could get the lettuce back?”

“That’s… not really a metaphor I’m comfortable with.”

“Let me tell them.” Virgil begged. “I wanna help and they won’t wake up for forever anyway and you said you had to work soon and I already know what to say please!”

He swallowed, bringing his voice down to a whisper. “Please, I wanna help.”

Daddy stared at him for what felt like forever. Virgil stared back, determined not to squirm this time.

Finally Daddy sighed and ruffled Virgil’s hair.

“I’m still not totally comfortable with this, but as of right now I don’t have a lot of other options. …Tell you what? I’ll stop by Ankle Joan’s on my way to work and if they aren’t here before the others wake up, then… then I guess you can tell them. But only if Joan isn’t here! If they get here first, they explain it, okay?”

Virgil nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Now, how much chance do I have of you getting back to bed?”

Virgil shrugged. He didn’t really feel tired anymore. Not in his brain at least. His heart felt tired and he still kinda wanted to cry, but not around Daddy. If he cried, Daddy might cry and the others might wake up and he wouldn’t get the chance to help.

Daddy sighed. “Okay, well… Cartoons it is, but be careful not to wake the others up, alright?”

****

Daddy left, though a lot gentler than Papa did. Plus Virgil knew he was coming back so it was okay.

Virgil watched a whole half season of Steven Universe before anyone else showed up. Lapis and Jasper were starting to fuse when Patton shuffled down the stairs, plopping beside him sleepily.

“‘Morn’n Virgey.” He muttered.

“Morning.”

Virgil was suddenly very nervous. He knew what to say, but he didn’t really want to say it more than once in case he got it wrong one time. He decided to wait on the others. Besides, Ankle Joan lived on the other side of town, so he might as well give them more chance to get here.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of that chance. Roman came downstairs while Steven avoided Connie, and Logan came down while they were making up. And Ankle Joan still hadn’t shown up yet.

Virgil took a deep breath.

Okie dokie. Now or never.

He paused the show. “Um, can I talk to you guys for a sec?”

The others looked at him curiously but all nodded. He took another deep breath.

“Something… happened this morning. And I wasn’t really supposed to see it, but since I did and since Ankle Joan isn’t here yet it’s my job to tell you.”

Patton’s head tilted to the side. “What?”

Virgil took a really big deep breath and said it all in a rush.

“Sometimes people have a picture in their heads of what they want the right now to look like, but sometimes when the right now and the picture don’t match up they leave to make it match and Daddy says that’s all Papa did but that we don’t have to worry about him leaving too because we are Daddy’s picture and he’s ours so our family looks different now but we’re still a family and we’ll take care of each other even if our picture looks a little different now. Also Daddy said he loves us.”

He panted a little bit he got the feeling that’s not why the others were staring at him.

Patton was blinking very very fast, his eyes looking wetter by the second, Logan’s eyebrows were trying to do their best impression of one long caterpillar, and Roman’s face looked blank and limp.

“Wait…” Logan said. “So Papa’s… gone?”

Virgil nodded. “Daddy said it wasn’t cause he doesn’t love us though. His picture just looks different than Daddy’s.”

“Picture? Why are you talking about pictures?” Roman asked, voice getting louder. “Our Papa is gone and all you can talk about is pictures?”

Virgil stammered. “Well i- that’s how Daddy explained it to-“

“Is he coming back?”

Everyone looked at Patton, who’s lip was trembling.

Virgil swallowed. He didn’t think so. Daddy seemed pretty mad and he was pretty sure “never come back” got said at least once. He shook his head numbly.

Patton burst into tears and Roman rushed to comfort him, shooting Virgil a dirty look as if to say “now look what you’ve done.”

Logan went still. Very very still. So still Virgil almost thought he had been carved of wood.

Virgil felt like crying, himself. Daddy had explained it all so well. What had gone wrong? He’d said the same thing, hadn’t he? Maybe he was just bad at saying things altogether. Maybe he shouldn’t say so much. Maybe-

The door opened, showing Daddy and Ankle Joan with an armload of grocery bags. Patton leapt up to tackle their father, who nearly fell over with the sudden impact.

“Daddy VirgilsaidPapaleftandthathedoesntloveourpicturesandthatheisntcomwingback ever agian!”

Virgil shook his head rapidly. “That’s not what I said!”

“That’s what it sounded like.” Roman muttered.

Daddy gathered Patton into his arms and walked to the couch, leaving the bags behind. Once he’d settled in he guestered for the other three to join them.

Virgil obeyed woodenly, idly thinking that there wasn’t enough lap for all of them now.

Once they were all settled Daddy took a deep breath of his own.

“Listen guys. Virgil just said what I asked him to. I shouldn’t have asked him to do that, and that’s my fault.”

“But what about Papa?” Logan insisted. “Is he really gone forever?”

Daddy sighed and Virgil could see the tears prickling in his eyes.

“He… Papa… Papa got an opportunity and he decided that he’d rather take the opportunity than stay here. And when he told me that I got mad and told him not to come back. But I want to make one thing clear, okay?

“He didn’t leave because of any of you. It wasn’t anything one of you did or didn’t do. This was a grown up’s choice and one day he’ll realize it was a mistake. Once you guys a couple more years behind you I’ll let you decide if you want to see him again, okay?”

They muttered their agreements, but Virgil shook his head in his mind. If leaving caused this many tears, he didn’t want Papa to ever come back. Because then he’d just have to leave again and they’d all be crying all over.

Not something Virgil wanted to go through again.

“For right now,” Daddy said. “We’re all gonna do the best we can, okay? Ankle Joan is gonna stay over for a little bit, and I called the school so you guys don’t have to go today.”

Patton sniffled. “Are you gonna stay?”

Daddy pulled them all even closer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

****

They didn’t go anywhere for the rest of the day.

Ankle Joan put up the groceries before joining them and they spent the rest of the day watching Steven Universe.

Occasionally someone would ask a question and Daddy would get sad as he answered it, but mostly they just watched Steven save the world with spit and kisses, both of which Virgil found gross.

Eventually they had a small dinner and Daddy tucked them all into bed, promising up and down that he’d still be there tomorrow.

It wasn’t until Virgil was almost asleep that he heard Roman speak.

“Did you run after him?”

Virgil shifted, looking at Roman’s bed.

“No… I just kinda froze. There was a lot of yelling and then the door slammed and Daddy was crying. All I could think about was making him smile again.”

Roman was quiet for a while.

“I would’ve run after him.” He said. “I would’ve dragged him back and chained him down so that he could never leave us.”

“I don’t think that’d be good, Ro-Ro.” Virgil said. “If being here isn’t what he wants, wouldn’t forcing him to stay make it what he wants less?”

Roman scoffed. “Well at least he’d be here! At least I would’ve tried.”

Roman didn’t talk again that night and Virgil fell asleep still shell shocked by the conversation.

He’d try harder next time. No one was getting hurt again.

Unbeknownst to him, Roman was across the room thinking much the same. Only with very different ideas of how.

****

“Daddy was really sad today, huh?” Patton asked.

“He was. Do you want to talk about it?” Logan rolled over.

Patton paused. “I don’t like seeing anyone sad.”

“Me neither.”

“Sad people make me sad. Is that weird? That people’s feelings make me feel things?”

“No. I think that’s just how it works.” Logan said. “People can influence other people’s feelings. Like when someone’s laughing and you can’t stop yourself from laughing too. It’s like that, only with sad feelings.”

Patton jolted upright, startling Logan off his pillow.

“I’ve got it!”

“Got… what?”

“If people can really influtants-“

“Influence.”

“-other people to be sad, than it should work with happy feelings too, right?”

Logan sighed. “I’m pretty sure I just said that Pat. Where are you going with this?”

“If someone being happy can make other people feel happy then I’m gonna do my best to just be happy all the time! Then no one will be sad anymore!” Patton said cheerfully.

Logan bit his lip. It sounded like a good conclusion, but… something about it seemed wrong.

“I dunno. I don’t think it works like that.”

“Sure it can! Just wait, no one will be sad for a long, long time, you’ll see!”

He heard Patton thud back into bed, probably eager to get to sleep and start his plan tomorrow. Logan was less than eager.

Surely it was impossible to just turn off some of your emotions. Patton had a good plan, but it just wasn’t realistic. If you could turn off your emotions, then there was no reason to think it’d be that… selective. It seemed like emotions were more of an all-or-nothing deal.

Although… could it be possible the lack of emotions would calm the emotions in others? Ankle Joan had been calm today, and that calmed all of them down. Was that all calm was, the lack of influence from your emotions? It must be. That was the only thing that made sense.

And if that was true it made sense that a lack of any emotions at all would calm down emotions in others! Patton’s idea was… sweet, but it wasn’t quite big enough.

Happiness isn’t the opposite of bad feelings, calm was. They needed something to calm everyone down if something bad happened again.

Logan would be that calm, he decided. He’d work hard until all his emotions were just suggestions that he could choose whether or not to follow. Then there’s always be someone calm to listen to and make plans on what to do.

It was foolproof, really. He just wished he’d thought of it sooner!

*****

“Are you gonna be okay?” Joan asked.

Thomas sighed heavily. “Absolutely not. But what choice do I have, really? I’ve got four kids to look after I can’t just…”

Joan offered a half smile. “I know, man.”

Thomas chuckled, but it felt hollow and empty. “He tried to get me to come with him. Can you believe that? It wasn’t bad enough that he tried to leave on his own, he also wanted to leave out boys completely on their own. As if I’d ever do that.”

“Idiot.” Joan took another swig of Gatorade. “As if you’d ever do that. Those boys are your whole world. Anyone who tries pulling you away from them is getting some choice words from me.”

Thomas laughed for real this time.

“Thanks for being here today. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if you hadn’t.”

“I can! You would’ve gone to work and left the youngest of your quadruplets to deal with the raging emotions of the other three, and probably would’ve come home to a house fire missing one or more children.”

Thomas shuddered. “Please don’t make me think about that. That’s the last thing I need.”

Joan laughed.

They sat in silence for a minute before Thomas spoke again.

“Do you think… do you think they’ll be okay? With just me. Am I enough for them? I- I never planned on doing this myself, Joan. Jee-muh-nattie, I hadn’t planned on two kids with him! As much as I hate it, he had a point about that. But sometimes things happen and it’s not something I would ever want to change. I love my boys! But… but I’m terrified that I’m gonna screw them up.”

Joan placed a hand on his shoulder. “I think… you’re a great effing father, with or without him. If anyone I know has got this in the bag, it’s you.”


	2. Chapter 2

“But Daaaaaad I hate Great Aunt Patty.” Roman whined. “Why’s she gotta come a day early?”

“Come on, now princey. Hate is a strong word.” Dad said.

Roman rolled his eyes. “I have strong feelings! And she’s always giving us super wet kisses and has us kiss her back.”

“I’ve never had to kiss her back!” Patton called from the kitchen. “I always need to kiss her front!”

Roman continued, ignoring Logan’s groaning. “It’s not like you like her either.”

“Well no,” Dad said as he finished pinning the banner. “I’ll admit she’s not my favorite relative. But she also won’t be the only on here after tomorrow.”

Roman scoffed. “Oh yes, the goblins will be here too, how could I forget?”

His dad shot him a warning look and Roman smiled sheepishly.

“If by goblins you mean your younger cousins, then yeah. Goblins.”

“Sounds right to me.” Virgil said from the couch.

Dad laughed and climbed down from the stepladder.

“Look guys, I’m not too fond of it either. But we were the only ones with enough space this year. And besides, the host keeps the leftovers so we won’t have to cook for, like a month.”

Logan’s head popped around the corner.

“You mean Patton and I won’t have to cook and you won’t have to attempt, burn down the cabinets, and order pizza.”

Roman and Virgil snickered as their dad blushed.

“Yeah, well… yeah I guess that’s what I mean, you smart Alec.”

“Smart Logan.” He corrected as he slid back into the kitchen.

Dad turned back to Roman and Virgil, laughing a little himself.

“Looks like we all have something to gain from me not having to cook for a bit.”

He smiled and straightened a bit. “Listen kiddos, I know it’s not the most fun ever, but if you can get through tomorrow without anyone’s skin or feelings hurt I’ll add some pizza to the pile of leftovers we’re gonna have. Okay?”

Roman exchanged a glance with Virgil, knowing this was more for them than their bookish brother or the literal ray of sunshine in sibling form. Out of the four of them, they tended to… come home with the most bruises.

Virgil offered his “do-we-have-a-choice” shrug and Roman nodded understanding.

He turned back to Dad and sighed.

“I guess we will find a way to behave for one day.”

Dad beamed and scooped them both into a hug.

“Atta boys! And besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

*****

The next day Great Aunt Patty entered with her usual fanfare. She all but busted into the house with a loud proclamation of “Thomas, darling!” and proceed to suffocate their dad in a display even Roman thought was over the top.

When Dad finally pried her off himself she just turned her “affection” onto the boys.

“Hello dearies!” She cooed. “I’m afraid you’ll have to remind me who’s who, sweethearts, it’s been terribly long since I last saw you.”

Roman watch Logan suppress an eye roll as Dad guided him forward.

“This is Logan, Aunt Patty.” he said. “He’s-”

“Oh, yes!” She cried out! “The darling little nerd!”

Logan huffed, but let her plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Dad chuckled and nudged Roman.

He stepped forward and held out a hand. “I’m Roman. I’m the least nerdy one!”

He ignored his brothers’ sputterings as Aunt Patty laughed.

“I’m sure you are dear. Come let Auntie give you a kiss.”

He relented, letting her press her unnaturally wet lips to his cheek and trying not to squirm. One of them had to be the gentleman here.

He’d only just pulled away when Patton bounced forward.

“I’m Patton and Patton-ly pleased to see ya!”

He surged past Roman and kissed Aunt Patty instead, something the old woman did not seem to appreciate if her thin smile was anything to go by.

“That’s… very nice, dear.” she pried him off and turned to Virgil. “And you must be Virgil, yes?”

Roman saw him fighting back a scowl. “Yeah…”

She enveloped him in a kiss and Virgil squirmed badly. Eventually she let him go and turned back to Thomas.

“So how are you doing honey? You and the boys still on all on your lonesome?”

Dad chuckled lightly. “Not quite. Joan and Talyn moved in next door, so they help out a lot.”

Aunt Patty sniffed. “Ah yes. How is Joan? Will he be joining us today?”

They all stiffened.

Dad smiled tightly. “No, I’m afraid they are going out of town this year. They have their own family, after all. Can’t expect them to stick around here all the time.”

Aunt Patty chuckled. “Yes i suppose not.”

She clapped loudly. “Well! I am going to head into the kitchen and get started on the green-bean casserole. Thomas if you or one of the boys could come help I’d be ever so grateful!”

“I’ll come.” Patton said.

He leapt up and guided her to the kitchen. He shot his brothers a face before turning a corner, making them all snicker.

Das smiled exasperatedly. “Listen guys, it looks like she’s a bit more aggressive this year so let’s fight her back the best way we can!”

“Biology textbooks.” Logan said.

“Samurai swords!” Roman said.

“Stabbing her eyes out with eyeliner pencils.”

The others turned to stare at Virgil.

“What? It’s not like a sword is gonna do anything better!”

Dad shook his head. “Kids- no. Kindness, I was going for kindness.”

“Oh…” The three said in sync.

****

“So which of you is the oldest?” Aunt Patty asked.

Logan huffed, digging into his sweet potatoes a bit harder than he needed to.

“I don’t see why everyone asks that.” he scowled. “We’re quadruplets. Born within hours of each other. I don’t see why everyone focuses so hard on-”

“Me and Ro are the oldest!” Patton said. “Lo and Virge were a little late to the party.”

Logan huffed even harder, going a bit red.

“Yes, okay? Fine. The exact birth order is: Patton, Roman, myself, and then Virgil. Is everyone satisfied?”

Roman chuckled at Aunt Patty’s raised eyebrow.

“He doesn’t mean any harm, dearest aunt.” He said. “He can simply get a little touchy about being our little brother.”

“Falsehood!” Logan screeched.

The others had been through his screaming enough not to react but Aunt Patty jumped. Her fork went flying, bouncing off the wall and clattering onto the floor.

Dad laughed a little. “Sorry, Aunt Patty. We’re used to it but uh, Lo can get a little passionate.”

He ruffled the disgruntled boy’s hair and stood to fetch the knife.

Aunt Patty smiled shakily. “Oh, it’s quite alright Thomas dear. I can’t imagine it’s easy to manage them on your own.”

Dad sat back down, smile friendly but eyes wary.

“What-uh… what do you mean by that?” he asked.

“Well you’re doing this all by yourself, darling!” she said. “Aside from that… friend of yours, you are the only one there to corral them. To teach them proper decorum. How to behave at the dinner table. Things of that nature.”

Roman stiffened and he gripped his fork just a little harder.

Dad cleared his throat. “I don’t think it’s that big a deal. I mean, I want them to be free to express themselves however they want, within reason, of course. They’re all unique individuals with unique ideas and feelings. They last thing I want to do is stifle any of that.”

Aunt Patty sniffed.

“No I suppose you wouldn’t.” she muttered.

Roman’s head turned so fast he heard his neck crack.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Patty, dearest.”

“Roman…” Dad said warningly.

Roman ignored him as Patty’s frigid smile turned fully to him.

“You’re too young to understand, Virgil dear.” she cooed.

“I’m Roman and try me.” he said.

She gently set down her silverware and folded her hands.

“All I meant,” she said. “Was that, though my sister seems content to indulge this… lifestyle, I, for one, cannot ignore the problems it creates. You and your brothers may not be in the most suitable environment for children your age.”

“Our age has little to do with it.” Roman countered. “Our father is doing the best he can. He supports us. He’s there as much as he can be and makes sure Ankle Joan or Ent Talyn are there if he can’t be.”

“Ah yes.” Aunt Patty’s smile thinned even more. “Your self-proclaimed aunt and uncle. Who for some reason you children have deemed better than your own blood. If these are the kinds of loyalties your father is instilling, can you blame me for my… misgivings?”

“They aren’t out aunt and uncle.” Logan said. “They both go by they/them pronouns, thusly they are both neither an aunt nor an uncle. As such, we long ago devised our own words for the both of them, comprised of a combination of the two words. “Ankle” for Joan and “Ent” for Talyn stemming from Patton being unable to say Uant.”

Aunt Patty smiled venomously. “No one likes a smarty-pants, darling.”

Roman slammed a hand on the table. “We do! That’s the whole point of this conversation! We like each other just fine the way we are and Dad is doing a better job raising us than anyone else could.”

“We may be a handful,” Patton said. “But Dad’s the only one who can get a handle on how to handle us.”

Aunt Patty exhaled forcefully. “I see. Thomas, darling, anything to say about your children’s.. . expressive outburst.”

Roman looked at Dad fearfully. He all of a sudden remembered his promise to kill her with kindness. A promise he’d pretty much shattered in one blow. 

Dad took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I just think it’s funny.” he said.

Aunt Patty cocked her head. “How so?”

Dad shrugged. “I think it’s funny that you not only picked a fight with a thirteen year old, you lost to three of them.”

Roman grinned, Patton giggled, and Logan and Virgil smirked. Aunt Patty, on the other hand, looked as if she was about to implode from sheer indignation.

Dad laughed lightly. “I don’t mean any harm by it. But they have some good points that you haven’t really stopped to listen to.

“No, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ll admit that. But I’m trying my best and my mother has reliably informed me she didn’t know what she was doing either. No one does. Raising kids is like a minefield of bad calls, and I’m not about to pretend I know how to navigate it. All I can do is my best.

“On the other hand…” He stood, eyes turning dangerous. “That’s about the tenth time you’ve misgendered Talyn alone and I think it should be the last. Either use the correct ones or don’t come tomorrow. Either way, I think we’re done for tonight.”

He smiled cheerfully. “Roman, show her out? Everyone else give me a hand with the dishes. Hope to see you tomorrow, Aunt Patty.”

Roman gleefully guided the sputtering woman to the door.

“Bye, Auntie!” he said, waving her outside.

She reached the driveway before seemingly regaining her wits. She turned back to Roman sharply.

“I don’t take kindly to being treated this way.” she said. “The rest of the family will hear about this tomorrow. It was… quite rude.”

Roman shrugged. “Yeah. So were you.”

He shut the door, vowing to forever treasure the indignant look on Aunt Patty’s face. Even as he twirled to face his father’s disapproving one. He blinked and smiled shyly.

“Uh… I’m sorry?”

Dad shook his head. “It was pretty rude, Ro. Not to mention you did the one thing I asked you not to.”

Roman shifted uncomfortably. “She started it-”

“It doesn’t matter who “started it,” Roman! It’s about who has the power to end it, either by moving on-” He glared pointedly. “Or by… well by doing what you did.”

He sighed and pinched his nose. Roman offered a shy smile.

“Does that mean I’m not in trouble?” He asked tentatively.

“Oh you’re definitely still in trouble!” Dad said sternly.

He put his hands on is hips and looked down disapprovingly. Roman suddenly felt very, very small.

“Despite your reasons, which I’ll admit were noble, you still did the one thing I asked you not to. Even barring that, because of your actions I gave her an ultimatum, which is going to make it’s way around the family grapevine in really unpleasant ways. I may not like her, but there’s a reason I’ve tolerated your great aunt for so long.”

Roman hunched his shoulders, face burning. As much as he disliked feeling small, he wished he could shrink even more. Shrink and shrink until he was small enough to scurry far away from this conversation.

“Sorry.” he whispered.

Dad sighed again. “I’m not mad. Not too much anyway. I know why you did it, and I understand, but there will still be a couple consequences.”

Roman swallowed and nodded. “‘Tis just. I shall take my punishment with strength and dignity, much like the princes of old.”

Dad laughed a little at that before thinking for a minute.

“Five minutes in the corner tonight, and tomorrow you have to help in the kitchen no matter who’s in there.” He decided.

“Five in the corner?” Roman exclaimed. “I mean I get the second part, but time out too? I thought we were on the same page here, Padre!”

Dad arched an eyebrow. “Does ten sound better?”

Roman’s eyes widened. “No! No no no. Five is good. I like five, its uh… a solid number. A favorite, some might say.”

Dad laughed. “Sure. Come on, Princey. Let’s go get ‘em over with before starting on desert.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What do we need for this recipe?” Logan asked.

He was leaning over the counter, trying to look at the recipe book his oldest brother was hogging.

Patton stuck out his tongue and moved the cookbook further away.

“It’s just some pasta, so just the basics.” Patton said. “Maybe grab some cumin to spice things up!”

Logan groaned at the joke, but did as he was asked. He gathered the pasta, and sauce, leaving the spices to his brother. He paused at the fridge and turned back.

“Are we doing scallops, chicken or beef?” He asked.

Patton tapped his chin, thinking.

“Well we normal do chicken, so why don’t we beef it up a little and use something else?”

“Stop.” Logan said, pulling out the requested meat.

“Come on, Lo.” Patton teased. “Don’t have a cow.”

“I beg you.”

“Come on, my jokes help me meat new people?”

“You’re incorrigible.”

Patton laughed and turned back to the cookbook. Logan set down the beef and reached for it himself, only for Patton to pull it out of arm’s reach again.

He huffed. “Why do you insist on keeping me from the recipe?”

“You always want to follow it exactly!” Patton said.

Logan rolled his eyes. “That’s what everyone is supposed to do. It is literally the purpose of a recipe.”

Patton stuck out his tongue again and made a face.

“Cooking is about more than that, Lo! It’s about feelings! Spices and art-sy-ness!”

“I think you’re looking for the word artistry.”

Patton’s nose wrinkled. “I like art-sy-ness.”

Logan sighed. “Regardless of the word, cooking is about precision. Why would they make a recipe if they didn’t intend for you to follow it?”

“It’s a guideline.” Patton said. “You follow the parts you need to and then you add your own parts along the way and make it unique!”

Logan felt his lips purse. “You’ve been watching that cooking channel again haven’t you?”

“No. Maybe…” Patton blushed. “I just really like Gordon Ramsey.”

“Isn’t he the one who screams at everyone?”

Patton gasped. “No! Well yes, but no! That’s just how he is with people who think they’re all that. With literally anyone else he’s sweet and good and pure and kind and wholesome and good and-”

“I get the point.” Logan interrupted. “So what would he say about your refusal to show me the recipe.”

“That I’m making the right call because my brother is a stuffy pants.”

Logan gasped. “Falsehood!”

He dived for the recipe book, but Patton dodged. Patton clambered onto the counter and stashed the book on top of the fridge.

Logan glowered. “It is on.”

Patton put his arms out protectively, not moving from the countertop.

“Bring it.”

***

Thomas poked his head in the kitchen. He’d heard Logan yelling a while ago, but had been too preoccupied to check in. Normal Patton and Logan were good at balancing each other out, so he hadn’t been too worried.

The scene that greeted him, however, showed he probably should have been.

Flour covered everything, not even sparing the two boys in the middle of the room, who were currently throwing more of it at each other. Patton was perched on the counter, hovering protectively over a rectangular bundle of plastic wrap, which Logan seemed to be aiming for.

As he watched, Logan raised a large pan lid and charged. Patton’s eyes widened and he frantically threw more flour. It bounced harmlessly off the lid, falling to the floor as Logan advanced.

Logan reached the other and dropped the lid. He wrapped an arm around him and dragged him off the counter. Patton squealed and started kicking.

“Where is your Gordon Ramsay now?” Logan asked.

He started to tickle Patton relentlessly. Patton’s squealing got louder.

In between breathes Thomas heard him say something that sounded like “off being a queen,” but he wasn’t totally sure.

He also wasn’t sure if he should stop the two of them and try to make dinner himself, or leave them to it and hope they bond.

He settled on clearing his throat as he tried not to laugh.

Both of their heads snapped around to look at him, and they immediately looked sheepish.

“Uh… hi Dad!” Patton said, blush slowly creeping onto his cheeks.

Logan slowly stood, face equally as red.

“I promise we intend to clean all this up.” he said.

Thomas stifled a laugh. “And uh, what exactly started this flour-ball fight?”

Patton suddenly became very interested in the floor. Logan likewise seemed to want a mental picture of the fridge.

“We, uh…” Patton said. “We were fighting over the cookbook.”

Thomas blinked, looking over at the bundle of plastic wrap. Underneath all the flour he could barely make out the cover of the binder of recipes Joan had made him years ago. The binder his two more responsible sons had monopolized after he’d set the toaster on fire.

He looked around the kitchen again. Okay maybe scratch the responsible part.

Thomas chuckled, looking back at the two boys.

“Well at least you threw a dry ingredient.” he said.

Patton giggled nervously.

“You aren’t mad?” Logan asked.

Thomas shook his head. “Oh you’re definitely cleaning all this up, but I’m not mad.”

He entered the kitchen and grabbed the cookbook.

“Now then,” He said. “We’re gonna make dinner and you guys are gonna tell me exactly when you started throwing flour.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have not had a panic attack in this form so I’m sorry if this is totally inaccurate. I try to base most things off my own experiences but my own attacks tend to look different (to the point where I’m not totally sure they happen) so I’m out of my depth a little. I’m gonna try based on other people’s writings, but if it’s inaccurate I won’t be surprised. I’m open to criticism, though so feel free to correct me so I can be better later.
> 
> Also this is another short one I’m sorry. XP

Virgil wasn’t sure what had set him off this time. His nerves were getting so bad that anything could send him into a puddle on the floor.

Which is where he now, struggling to breathe.

As desperately as he was trying to be quiet, his sniffling must have attracted some attention because he felt a weight next to him on the bed.

“…rgil?” He heard someone ask. “-Irgil can you hear me?”

He nodded shakily, some small part of him saying everything about him was shaky right now. That part sounded a lot like Patton.

“Virgil,” The someone said. “Breathe. Just breathe. Can you look up at me?”

He raised his head. Smallish person. Brown hair. One of his brothers. Couldn’t tell who though…

Oh no. One of his brothers was here. Watching him be pathetic and horrible. Now they’d know how absolutely awful and helpless he really was and-

“Virgil, breathe.” The someone instructed. “Just breathe. Count with me. In for four seconds.”

Virgil took a shaky breath, trying to count to four.

“Good job. Okay now hold it for seven seconds.”

Hadn’t he done that already? Shouldn’t they have started with that information already being known? Oh seven seconds had probably passed by now. Maybe more.

“Okay now out for eight seconds.”

He exhaled slowly. There wasn’t enough air for eight, was there? He was still exhaling when he reached seven so maybe there was.

“Good job, you’re doing good. Can you do it again with me? Remember, in for four…”

They continued for what felt like forever until Virgil finally felt calmer, or at least calm enough to stop shaking.

He looked up at his brother.

Logan offered him a small smile. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

Virgil shook his head lightly. He couldn’t talk about what had started it if he didn’t know.

Logan nodded. “Understood. Are you up for physical affection?”

Virgil crawled over the bed to where Logan was and crawled onto his lap. He felt his brother awkwardly pat his back and he laughed to himself. Logan never had been very good at comforting people. Or emotions in general. It was honestly kind of a miracle he’d handled… this so well.

Logan cleared his throat. “We can stay here as long as you like, but Patton has informed me he and Roman set up a pillow fort downstairs. While I would normally scoff at such things, it seems to be something you need at the moment. If you are not up to walking, I can carry you if you wish, but I assure you there is no hurry.”

Virgil sniffed and looked up at Logan, brows pulling together in a question.

Logan blinked. “I… I didn’t ask them to make the fort, if that’s what you are inquiring. I believe they were making it before, but I sent them a text to make it bigger soon after I found you. I didn’t tell them the reason, though, so there is no reason to worry.”

Virgil nodded and snuggled deeper into Logan’s stomach.

“Do you wish to go downstairs?”

Virgil nodded.

“…Do you wish to do so now?”

He nodded again.

“… Are you going to do so yourself?”

He considered it. Then shook his head.

Logan sighed. “Excellent. Then I suppose I shall have to do the leg work.”

He shifted, putting his arms under virgil. He paused just before getting up.

“I am far from an expert but… do you want the blanket?”

Virgil looked down at his bed to the blanket in question. It was his favorite, purple and fluffy and absolutely perfect. Especially for a pillow fort. But… what if it caused Logan to trip and fall? What if he did that on the stairs? What if he did it on the stairs and he was so focused on keeping virgil from getting hurt that he hit his head? What if he got a concussion? What if he died?

Virgil swallowed hard. Maybe the blanket wasn’t such a good idea. He shook his head nervously. Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Are you certain?” He asked.

Virgil nodded, which was immediately undercut by his shivering.

Logan frowned. “I think I’ll grab it anyway.”

Virgil blushed and nodded.

Logan crawled out from under him and grabbed the blanket. He carefully wrapped Virgil in it until he felt like a snug caterpillar in cocoon. He suppressed a smirk, knowing Logan was doing his best, even if his best was an imitation of Patton. He didn’t want to make him feel awkward.

Logan eyed him, nodding at his handiwork before scooping Virgil into his arms, albeit a bit… less than smoothly.

He would’ve wrapped his arms around Logan, but his brother had wrapped him the blanket so tightly his arms were all but pinned. As it was, Virgil made an effort not to squirm to make it easier.

They made it about halfway down the stairs when he heard Roman gasp.

“Logan! I see you managed to grab our Damsel of Distress!”

“Literally!” Patton laughed.

Logan offered a weak smile as they reached the bottom.

“Hilarious.”

Roman strode over and opened his arms. Arms Virgil suddenly found himself dumped into. He grunted and looked back at Logan.

He was panting and Virgil felt guilty. Of course. After him, Logan was the lankiest of the four of them. He spent most of his time with his nose in a book, and rarely even went outside. Of course he wouldn’t be up to carrying Virgil everywhere.

Logan must have seen his grimance because he waved a hand.

“I’m fine, Virgil. I assure you it is no fault of yours if I am short of breath.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “If he has enough air to say all that, then he’s fine.”

Roman carried him over to the fort, where Patton was already snuggled into a corner. He eagerly held his hands out once Virgil was on the ground. He crawled over, placing his head in Patton’s lap so the other could stroke his hair. Roman crawled in after him and put Virgil’s legs in his lap.

“Last one in puts in the movie!” He called out to Logan.

Virgil and Patton giggled as they listened to Logan exhale forcefully and stomp to the movie rack.

“This is the last time I’m letting you get away with it, Halfwit.”

Roman smirked. “Sure thing, Nerd. Whatever you say.”

Patton and Virgil giggled harder.

“What movie?” Logan asked.

Roman looked at Virgil, who shrugged. He knew which movie he wanted, but he doubted Roman was going to go for something without musical numbers.

Roman frowned a little.

“Do you really not care or do you have an opinion you aren’t sharing?”

Virgil bit his lip. Got it in one…

Roman nodded.

“Black Caldron.” He told Logan. “Although, grab Mulan too so we can watch it after.”

“Affirmative.” Logan said.

Once the movie was in he crawled into the fort and placed himself on the other side of Roman. He leaned on the other even as Virgil playfully stuck his feet on his lap.

He snickered at Logan’s face as the movie started up. He innocently turned his smirk to the tv and snuggled deeper into Patton’s lap.

He may tease them, but at the end of the day he was grateful to have his brothers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re getting into some angst here, buckle up babes.

Roman and Virgil had very different forms of protection. Virgil’s tended to take the form of preventing the hurt in the first pace, Roman’s tended to come out after in the form of kicking butt and taking names. As Logan had often observed, this led to them having more than a few altercations with one another.

Case and point, they’d been walking to class when someone had roughly shoved Logan into a locker door. Or rather, they had tried.

Virgil noticed a split second before it happened and caught him before his shoulder met the cold metal. He shot him a grateful look before pausing to take in everyone’s expressions.

Patton was blinking rapidly, trying to understand what was going on. Virgil’s face had a collected anger. Roman’s was practically steaming.

“What was that for?” He asked the bully.

The bully shrugged and snickered wickedly. “Dictionaries belong in lockers, right? I was just doing my duty and picking up the hallway. People shouldn’t leave their junk on the floor.”

Virgil’s face lowered into a glare. He glowered at the bully while Roman started shouting.

“He’s not a dictionary, he’s our brother!” He yelled. “Sure he can be a bit of a know-it-all, but that’s hardly reason to shove him into a wall!”

The bully shrugged. “C’mon. The twerp isn’t even hurt!”

“Only cause Virgil caught him!” Patton protested.

“Yeah, or maybe cause he’s such an emotionless robot that he didn’t even notice he was getting shoved.” The bully sneered. “I bet he didn’t finish getting programmed for pa-”

The bully didn’t have time to finish his sentence before getting slammed into a locker himself. Logan heard the breath rush out of his assaulter as Roman twisted his fist into his shirt.

“Care to repeat that?” Roman asked, voice dangerously cold.

The bully’s face twisted in anger. “I said he’s an emotionless robot who apparently can’t defend himself.”

Roman growled and punched the other boy. Patton cried in alarm and Virgil rushed forward.

“Ro stop!” He said, grabbing ahold of their brother’s arm. “It’s not worth it just stop!”

Roman paused, body shaking with anger and indecision. After ages, Roman let go and lowered his arm.

“Don’t say that crap again.” He warned. “Or you’ll get a lot worse than a punch to the face.”

The bully fled, probably to get a teacher and tell them some sob story that would get Roman detention. Logan huffed. Not ideal but given the outcome it was unavoidable.

Roman turned his scowl to Virgil. “I had it under control.”

Virgil scoffed. “Yeah, control. Is that what they’re calling it when you beat another kid’s face in?”

“He was a bully!” Roman yelled. “You heard what he said about Logan!”

“Yeah, but they were just that, words.” Virgil said, glaring at Roman. “Logan knows better than to let some… some idiot make him feel bad. That’s what he has us for!”

“What he has us for is to protect him from people like that!” Roman snapped.

“Yeah, yeah it is.” Virgil said. “But bashing people’s faces isn’t the way to go about it!”

“Oh and what would you suggest we do instead?” Roman snarled. “Ignore them? Hope they go away? Or maybe we should just freeze in place while someone else gives us emotional scars!”

Virgil lowered his head. To anyone else it may seem like an abashed retreat. But his brothers knew better. Logan knew better. Roman had crossed a line. And the look in his eyes said even he knew he was about to pay for it.

Virgil’s fists clenched. “I’m not saying you’re wrong here, Roman.”

His voice was calm, but there was something boiling under the surface. Something angry and dark.

“I never said you were wrong.” He repeated. “Just that you can’t go around punching everyone who does something wrong. All that’s gonna end with is a bunch of black eyes and purple skin. On you.”

Virgil raised his head again and Logan inhaled sharply. Logan was a very literal person, but even he had to admit that Virgil’s eyes were practically spitting fire. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets.

“For the record,” he said. “Logan’s skin is pretty thick. It’ll take more than a couple harsh words to leave emotional scars.”

He tugged up his hood and walked away, leaving a tension in the air behind him.

Patton was first to break the silence. He exhaled forcefully and pointed a scolding finger at Roman.

“That was uncalled for, Ro-Ro! No matter how mad you are that’s not something you bring into a petty fight.”

Roman had the good sense to look ashamed. “I know. I’m sorry, honest. I was just so mad. I didn’t even realize what I was saying until it was already said.”

Logan gave a mock shudder. “Ugh, feelings. See, this is why I strive for a clear head. If you prevent the anger from clouding your judgement you prevent errors such as this one. You were, in a word: stupid.”

Roman rubbed his arm shyly. “It wasn’t like I meant to. I really am sorry, Pat.”

Patton sighed. “It’s not me you have to apologize to, Ro-Ro.”

Roman nodded stiffly. “I will. I think I’ll give him a bit to cool off though.”

Logan nodded. “I think we could all do with that.”

They continued to the classroom, not talking to each other any further.

****

Virgil didn’t talk to Roman for the rest of the day. Everytime he tried, Virgil would burrow further into his hoodie and ignored him. Roman was trying, but he was starting to get frustrated. Couldn’t Virgil see that he was valiantly attempting to apologize? Suck it up and let him be the bigger person, dangit!

The cold shoulder still hadn’t warmed when they got home. As soon as they were in the door Virgil ran to their room and slammed the door.

Dad stuck his head into the hall, eyebrow raised.

“What was all that about?” he asked.

Roman had never really looked at this carpet before! It was so pretty. Such a nice shade of beige-yellow. It may not have had any discernible pattern but if he squinted the unknown stain looked like a person kneeling. Truly the carpet was extraordinary. He should look directly at it more often.

He heard Logan huff. “Roman got mad and said something uncalled for earlier today. Virgil has elected not to speak to him and has so far held fast to that idea.”

“Really?” Dad asked, disbelief evident in his voice, even if Roman was pointedly not looking at him. “What did you say?”

Roman felt his face get warm. He chewed his lips nervously.

“I… It doesn’t matter what it was. It was stupid.” he said. “I crossed a line.”

He looked up shyly at their dad. Dad who was currently regarding him with one of those ‘you hecked up, kid’ faces he was so good at.

“I’ll bet it matters to Virgil.” he said.

Roman winced, eyes returning to the carpet. “Yes, well… that… that would be the problem here, I suppose.”

It was all too quiet for what felt like an eternity. Finally Dad heaved a sigh.

“Give him a bit of space for now.” he said. “But make sure you apologize when you see him next, okay?”

Roman nodded fervently. “Yes of course!”

“Okay. Go grab the trash and get some dishes out of the way before you help Pat with dinner. I think that’ll be enough punishment, don’t you?”

Roman nodded again and left to do as he was told.

All he could do now was hope Virgil wouldn’t be mad all night. Last time he’d been this mad he locked him out of the bedroom and Roman didn’t want to spend another night on their couch.

He hoped to goodness sakes that this time wouldn’t be that bad.

****

This time was really bad.

Virgil locked the door behind him and dove into bed, barely beating back the tears that had been building in his throat all day.

He hated him. He hated him so much. He hated him so much there was no way he could ever do enough to fix it. He hate, hate, hated him!

Virgil gasped as a few sobs made their way past his defenses.

Words. Words words words. That’s all they were. But they were enough. They told him everything he needed to know in an efficient, in-between-the-lines way. Saying it but not really saying it, saying it.

Roman hated him. Roman still blamed him for the biggest wrong in their lives and would never let it go.

Not that he could blame him, honestly. If Virgil had done anything but what he had at the time, there might have been a chance. Papa might have stayed if he’d said something. If he’d moved. If he’d run up and punched the man until he stayed. If he’d done anything but stand there and be useless! 

The others probably hated him, too.

Virgil gave into the tears. He buried his face into his pillow and cried until his eyes felt sore. And then cried a little bit more for good measure.

When he’d finally cried all the water out of his body, Virgil took a deep, shuddering breath.

He sat up slowly, looking over to Roman’s alarm clock. He’d been here for about thirty minutes now. It felt like hours.

He took another breath and walked to the door. He pressed his ear against it. Hearing silence he went back to his bed and reached underneath it. He yanked out his stash of makeup and ran back to the door.

Cautiously, he peeked his head out the door. After he was sure no one was there he sprinted to the bathroom, only pausing locking this door behind him too. Once he was sure no one heard him, he turned to the mirror and threw his makeup bag onto the counter. He climbed up after it and got to work.

After his panic attacks started getting more frequent Ent Talyn had taken him aside and had a makeup day. They’d taught him a lot, most of which was not-so-coincidentally how to make it look like you hadn’t been crying your eyes out three minutes ago. He knew it was mostly for when he was at school so he wouldn’t be scared to go back to class, but he ended up using it at home just as often.

He smiled a little as he applied eyeshadow, remembering when Ent Talyn taught him how to out it on. He’d gotten it confused with blush and smeared it under his eyes.

Before he had a chance to cry, Ent Talyn had laughed and decreed he rocked it. After that he’d made it his signature look, smearing the black powder under his eyes just after brushing his teeth every morning. He figured even if he didn’t do the rest well, even if it looked bad, people would be too busy looking at that to notice his red, puffy eyes. Hopefully no one would notice he’d had to reapply it.

He sniffed, pulling away from the mirror. Perfect. You couldn’t even see the tear tracks.

He packed up the makeup and stashed it carefully on top of the medicine cabinet before heading back to face the rest of the house.

He hunched his shoulders as he entered the living room and fell onto the couch. Logan shifted to give him room and continued watching his documentary. He didn’t try to talk, which Virgil was grateful for. He shoved on his headphones and turned up his music.

Lo flicked on the subtitles and Virgil shot him a smile. Logan returned it and went back to watching.

They’d nearly finished it before Patton stuck his head in the room, presumably to say dinner was ready. Virgil followed them into the dining room, slowly taking off his headphones as he went.

He paused in the doorway, watching as Roman put down the potholders. He twirled and caught sight of Virgil. His face fell and he walked over slowly.

Virgil stiffened, gripping his headphones tightly in his pocket.

Roman offered him a smile smile. “I’m terribly sorry, Virgil. I let my emotions get away from me earlier and i said something I shouldn’t have. I was stupid. I crossed a line and for that I am most sorry.”

Virgil swallowed. He looked sorry. But Dad was just in the next room, probably on his way. And Patton and Logan had probably told him the whole story earlier. Which meant he’d probably told Roman to apologize. It wasn’t a genuine apology. Roman still hated him.

But it was something, he supposed. If Roman was willing to pretend he didn’t hate him, Virgil was willing to pretend he didn’t know it was an act. Maybe if they kept pretending enough it would become real. Fake it ‘til you make it, right?

He bit his lip.

“It’s okay,” he lied. “I know you didn’t really mean it. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.”

Roman’s smile widened. “It’s quite alright! We just have different ways of expressing ourselves.”

Virgil nodded woodenly, moving to take his seat at the table.

He could do this. He could fake it.

Even if everyone hated him. He could fake it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen the idea of these two being friends is important and precious to me. I think I did it so that If you’ve never seen Camp Camp it’s no big deal, but if I didn’t I’m sorry. All you need to know is that he’s an angry lil kitten who is firmly in the chaotic neutral category. Emphasis on chaotic. Tl;dr: This is low-key self indulgent twaddle but that’s the entire point of this. Now that that’s out of the way, Enjoy~

An indisputable fact of the universe was that Virgil was a loner. He didn’t talk to anyone outside his family and rarely did even that on the school grounds. That was how he liked it.

His brothers were great and all, but their friends were loud and bright and the last thing he wanted was to be the odd one out among them. That coupled with a desire not to be in a group just because his brother was made him keep his distance.

The self-imposed isolation suited him. No one at your table could try to talk through your headphones if there was no one at your table.

Unfortunately, his teachers didn’t see it that way. They thought it was “anti-social” and “cutting into his social skills.” The fact that he’d hissed at the principal probably didn’t help his case. Mrs. Davis had pulled him aside before lunch and insisted he sit with someone today.

Which is why Virgil found himself standing near the end of the lunch line, trying to find a table of people who might not notice him joining, or at least leave him alone.

The only table that even came close to that criteria had only one person at it: A boy with puffy black hair, wrapped in a dark blue hoodie. Virgil mentally filed hoodies as a conversation topic and cautiously walked over.

He cleared his throat nervously and the other boy looked up, eyes narrow and suspicious.

“I-uh…” Virgil hesitated. “Do you mind if I sit here? Mrs. Davis wants me to sit with someone today.”

The boy shrugged and nodded to the seat across from him. Virgil flashed him a grateful smile and took the seat. He started to eat, nervously wondering if he could get away with slipping his music on or if Mrs. Davis was still watching.

“Name’s Max.” The other kid grumbled.

“Oh, uh. Virgil.”

Max nodded. “It’s probably good you sat here. Old biddy told me the same thing. I just didn’t listen. Now at least I won’t get in trouble.”

He glared suddenly at Virgil. “Just don’t get any ideas. We aren’t friends, and we probably won’t be. As far as I’m concerned there’s no one worth talking to in this hel-heckhole.”

Virgil blinked but nodded all the same. He hesitated.

“…Are you good with me putting my headphones on, then?” He asked. “That’s what I normally do.”

Max rolled his eyes and shoved some of his hair back, revealing an earbud already placed in his ear.

“Way ahead of you.”

Virgil felt his mouth quirk upwards in spite of itself and he slipped on his headphones.

****

They continued like that for a month. They didn’t do more than eat together, each listening to his own music, but it didn’t stop Patton from being ecstatic.

“Our baby brother!” He said, half-shouting. “Finally making friends!”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Hardly. More like an acquaintance I have an agreement with.”

“Still progress, Emo Nightmare.” Roman said, ruffling his hair.

Virgil scoffed at the time, but he had to admit it was… comfortable, whatever he had with Max. It was nice to have someone who didn’t try to talk to him. Someone low-key who just wanted to listen to his own music and maybe didn’t care if Virgil was there or not.

No expectations. No failing to meet said expectations.

It was liberating.

It wasn’t until a month and a half after first meeting each other that they even talked again. Virgil’s fingers and brain took different routes and he pressed the play button before his headphones were plugged in, letting some of the music leak through the phone before streaming through the intended destination.

It was enough to catch Max’s attention, though. The other boy gave him an odd look.

“Was that Welcome to the Black Parade?” he asked.

Virgil flushed. “Y-Yeah.”

“Dude,” Max said, leveling his eyes at Virgil. “You got crap taste in music.”

Virgil felt his face go even hotter. “No I don’t!”

“I just caught you listening to the most stereotypical emo song in the universe and now you want to defend it?” Max laughed.

“Listen, Welcome to the Black Parade is severely underrated.” Virgil argued. “It only gets the treatment it does because the rest of their songs are so ‘emo.’ If you’d actually stop to listen to it you’d see. It’s the overlooked Bohemian Rhapsody of our generation.”

Max snorted. “Okay now you’re taking it too far. Bohemian Rhapsody isn’t even that good.”

“Maybe not,” Virgil admitted. “But have you ever seen someone not sing along to it. It’s catchy, you can’t deny that.”

“No, Queen is just comprised entirely of witches who used a spell to get in the top charts, the catch being they’d never be number one.” Max said matter-of-factly.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Because that’s a reasonable explanation.”

“Hey, I’m just calling ‘em like I see ‘em.” Max said, shrugging. “Queen are witches, Bush did nine eleven, and the moon landing was faked.”

Virgil laughed. “Okay, fine. But conspiracies aside, Welcome to the Black Parade is a good song.”

“Is not.” Max said. “It’s an angsty song that only the most emo people listen to.”

“You recognized it with maybe a note and a half to go off of.” Virgil said.

He smirked as Max’s face blanched. Max cursed and Virgil laughed again.

“You got me.” Max said. “I’ll give you that, you got me.

“That’s more surprising than anything, honestly.” He continued. “The way you acted I figured you were a big wimp, but you got ba- guts. You got guts.”

Virgil chuckled. “Oh no, I’m totally made of glass. If I’m forced to speak in public I’d probably shatter. It’s just easier to hold myself together if I’m sarcastic.”

Max nodded. “I can understand that. So what else is on that playlist, and if you say it’s just MCR I’ll cut you.”

****

Another month passed and the two slowly lapsed into an easygoing friendship. They didn’t pry into each other’s life, or ask too many question, and it was mostly them just poking fun at each other and getting into debates on music. Virgil was happy, though. This was the closest he’d ever been with someone outside his patchwork family and it was nice to have someone to just hang with.

They even had the same math class, so they ended up doing a lot of homework together during lunch.

Things were going well. Which is why Virgil chided himself for being surprised when it started to fall apart.

He’d been late for math. Logan had asked him about an English assignment and he lost track of time. The teacher wasn’t too angry, and let him get to his seat with minimal embarrassment.

But for some reason, Max was glaring at him through the entire period. Virgil couldn’t concentrate on the lesson because he was so worried over it.

It wasn’t Max’s normal “resting demon-face” glare, so he must’ve done something to upset him. But they’d been fine yesterday and he hadn’t seen Max at all today. Which means he must have done something right before they left yesterday.

He analyzed the conversation over and over in his head, scarcely hearing what Mr. Bobinsky was saying about fractions.

There was nothing. As far as Virgil could tell he hadn’t done anything.

Which made everything ten times worse.

He stopped Max outside after class. He didn’t want to, but Patton always said it was best to face problems head on and losing his probably only friend without knowing why definitely registered as a problem.

“Dude, what gives?” He asked. “You were staring at me all class. What’d I do?”

Max glared harder.

“What’d you do?” He asked angerily. “You were walking down the hall, acting like you were king of the world or some crap. You acted like I wasn’t even there! I even got there early to see if you wanted to hang later! And then you come in late wearing different clothes and just expect me to- what? Be chill with a 180 degree flip flop in personality?”

Virgil’s entire mind stuttered. “That- that wasn’t me…”

Max scoffed. “Oh yeah. It was your clone. ‘Wasn’t you,’ what kind of lame excuse is that?”

He turned to leave and Virgil desperately grabbed his sleeve.

“No, I’m serious! I was halfway across the school!”

He tugged out his phone and frantically scrolled through his photos. He found what he was looking for and shoved the photo in Max’s face.

“Look, see! I’ve got three brothers, you must’ve seen one of them.”

Max squinted at the photo. He was still glaring, but some of the hostility had edged out of his eyes.

“Photos can be edited.” He grumbled.

“No, dude I swear,” Virgil pointed to his phone. “I have, like, zero photoshopping talent. And even if I had why would I go through so much just to get away with being a jerk as I walked down a hallway? If I didn’t want to talk to you I would’ve stopped aged ago, I wouldn’t pull a hoax.”

Max scowled, which was personal code for “I see your point but I don’t want to say I do.” Virgil took it as encouragement.

“Plus, look at these people.” He said. “I stick out like a sore thumb. If I was gonna make up being a quadruplet I don’t think I’d make myself the black sheep.”

Max snorted at that.

“Alright fine.” He said. “I’m not mad anymore. But come lunch I want to meet these brothers. Physical proof, ya know?”

Virgil nodded, wincing at the thought.

“Okay. Just… fair warning. They can be a bit… much.”

****

Patton caught sight of him and squealed at a pitch only dogs should be able to hear. He bounded over, closing the distance and smushing Virgil into a hug.

“Vee!” He giggled. “I never ever see you at lunch! Hi!”

Virgil grunted. “Hey, Pat. Uh, kinda need air.”

“Oh sorry!”

Patton clambered off him and settled for a beaming smile.

“So what gives? Not that I mind having you but you eating lunch with me has always been a little Patton-pending. What finally brought you here? You aren’t on the Verge of detention again, are you? There’s only so many times you can do that before your grades get Lo-gan and-“

“Pat slow down.” Virgil said right as Max groaned.

“Oh great. My one friend has a pun machine for a brother.” He said.

Patton did a double take, noticing Max for the first time. He squealed again.

“You must be Max!” He said.

Max grimaced and nodded. Patton thrust out a hand. Max took it slowly and Patton, not reading the room, started pumping it up and down.

“I’m Patton! But you can call me Pat if you like. I’ll tell you what though: outside of us this is the Max amount of friends little Vee here’s ever let meet me!”

“Please stop. Everything you’re doing just stop.” Max said.

Virgil squinted at his brother. “Pat, did you take your meds today?”

The change was instant. Patton deflated and let go of Max, who gratefully stuffed his hand back in his pocket. Patton’s face twisted into a pout.

“I didn’t feel like it today.” He said. “Today feels like a day to feel the way grape scented bubbles look. I can’t do that if I take my meds.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “No, but you can prevent yourself from taking off my friend’s arm.”

Patton sulked. “Fine. I’ll take some after lunch.”

“Atta boy.” Virgil said. “Hey, any idea where Ro-Lo might be?”

Patton bounced back up, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Ro’s by the vending machine and I think Lo stays in the library during lunch.”

Virgil smirked. Of course Logan would be in the library. The nerd.

“Got it. Thanks!”

Patton beamed. “No prob, Bob!”

He bounced back to his table and Max gave Virgil a bewildered look.

“You’re related… to that?” He asked incredulously.

Virgil smirked. “Just wait til you see the rest of them.”

“Oh, goody.” Max said, burrowing further into his hoodie.

****

Virgil was very glad they’d eaten lunch before meeting his brothers. Because if he’d been carrying a tray it would have been all over his clothes twice over by now.

Once for Patton squeezing the life out of him. And once for Roman picking him up “princess-style” and twirling him around before even saying hello.

When he finally put Virgil down, the former was too dizzy to glare at him.

“What gives, Ro?” He whined, clutching his head in a vain attempt to get the world to be still again.

“Sorry!” Roman said breathlessly. “I got excited. I got cast, Virgil! I’m actually going to be in the school play this year!”

“Good for you.” Virgil said, shaking the dots out of his eyes. “Who’re you playing?”

“I shall be playing the part of the valiant Merticuo!” Roman said, puffing out his chest. “It’s only a supporting role, but it’s a big one!”

“‘S great, Ro.” Virgil muttered. “Oh, this is Max. He didn’t believe me when I said I was a quadruplet so I’m bringing him to meet everyone.”

Roman looked at Max and promptly bowed.

Virgil winced. “Please don’t-“

“Dearest Max!” Roman said loudly. “I must thank you on behalf of all our family for taking the time to befriend our dear brother. We are ever so grateful towards you for breaking our Chemically Imbalanced Bro-mance out of his shell. For that I owe you. If you ever crave a boom, please, do not hesitate to call upon me.”

Max looked at Roman, who was still in a bow, before turning back to Virgil. He raised an eyebrow and gestured at Roman as if to ask if he was for real.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Do you have to do that to everyone you meet?”

Roman bounced up as if he was spring loaded.

“Yup!” He chirped.

“Kay, well we’ve still gotta see Lo, so catch you later, Sir Sing-a-Lot.”

“Ha! I like that nickname and and I’m gonna use it now.” Roman laughed. “See you later, Marilyn Morose.”

They walked away and Max shot a glare behind him.

“I think that’s the one I thought you were.” He muttered. “Looking at him now, I have no idea why I thought you two were the same person.”

Virgil chuckled bitterly. “Honestly, I don’t know either. If we didn’t have the same face, I’d say I got picked up from the hospital by mistake.”

Max laughed dryly. “I know how that feels. Come to think of it, Roman kinda reminds me of my brother.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows. “Oh? That’s… uncanny.”

“Eh, don’t think too hard about it. Harrison’s more focused on magic and illusion than theater, so it’s not that big a coincidence.”

Virgil shrugged. “Still, it’s kinda weird. Maybe they could bond over showmanship.”

“Trust me it’s not that bad.” Max said. “If anything, you should be more worried about the fact that Patton reminds me of my dad.”

Virgil waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, that’s pretty normal. He’s basically Dad number two at this point. He’s just everyone’s dad.”

Max snorted. “So’s mine.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, but yours is actually a father.”

“True, but if he had the means I think he would’ve adopted every kid in the place he found me. Which equals out to, like, ten people.”

Virgil let out a low whistle. “Pretty bold of you to assume Patton won’t adopt ten kids himself once he’s old enough. His plans for the future consist of a big house with a bigger kitchen to house and feed every kid he finds.”

Max squinted at Virgil. “Bold of you to assume my dad wouldn’t do that if he could.”

They both glared at each other before Virgil smirked.

“Agree to disagree.” He said.

Max smirked back. “My second favorite kind of disagreement.”

“What’s the first?” Virgil asked, reaching for the library door.

“Punching someone in the face.”

Their laughter was interrupted by someone shouting, and the librarian subsequently shushing them. The shouter seemed unperturbed by them and continued to yell at someone about how biology was a world unto itself that humanity couldn’t hope to comprehend especially if they were close-minded ignoramuses.

Whatever that meant.

Max turned to him and gave him a look.

“Please tell me we aren’t walking towards the person who’s turning the library into a shouting match.” He begged.

Virgil walked towards the person who was turning the library into a shouting match. MAx groaned and followed him.

They found Logan at a table in the science section. He was standing up, back to them and yelling at someone across the table about biology. From where Virgil and Max stood it looked like the only thing keeping it from getting physical was the fact that two of Logan’s friends had looped their arms around him, effectively holding him back.

Virgil winced as a mad librarian walked up to him.

“Do you know this boy?” She demanded.

“Yeah. He’s my brother.” He said. “Don’t worry ma’am, I’ll calm him down.”

He sent her what he hoped was a reassuring look and ran over to Logan. He tapped his brother on the shoulder and the other boy whipped around, face spitting fire.

“What do you- oh, hello Virgil.”

His demeanor dropped instantly and he looked at Virgil as calmly as if he’d just gotten done meditating instead of yelling at someone. Virgil glanced over his shoulder and saw the kid he’d been yelling at slinking away.

He offered Logan a frown. “You’re gonna get kicked out, Lo. Calm down.”

Logan wrestled out of his friends’ grasp and smoothed out his tie. “I am the epitome of calm, rational thought. I was merely trying to educate a fellow student.”

One of his friends snorted. “You were “educating” her right into space. I know she was being stupid, but I’ve never heard you get so loud before. Normally that’s my job.”

Logan glared at his friend. “It is a topic she needed a lesson in. Although I’ll admit my methods were a little… reactionary.”

“A little?” His friend asked.

Logan shoved him lightly before turning back to Virgil.

“Did you require something?” He asked.

Virgil shook his head. “Nah, just wanted you to meet Max. He didn’t believe I was a quadruplet so he’s meeting everyone.I saved what I thought would be calmest for last but after that we may go back to Roman.”

Logan flushed. “While I acknowledge that you are only teasing me, I shudder to think I was behaving in a way that made Roman appear calmer. Please never compare me to that half-wit again.”

Virgil smirked.”You were pretty loud.”

Logan shuddered. “I am indubitably sorry. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Max. I apologize that you had to see such a display of rash emotions.”

Max’s eyebrows raised and he shook Logan’s offered hand.

“Hey, man it’s whatever.”

Logan huffed. “I would hardly say that. It was quite rude to those surrounding me and-”

“Okay! We’ll we’re gonna head out now. See you later, Lo-lo.” Virgil said.

He tugged Max out of the room, grinning as he heard his brother’s friends tease him over the nickname. He turned back to his friend as they left the library, trying not to get his hopes too high about Max’s opinions of them.

The way he saw it, it could go many different ways. Option one: Max loves his brothers so much that he ditches Virgil for one of them. Option two: Max loathes his brothers and decides to ditch Virgil for association. Option three: A weird, nebulous middle ground Virgil’s mind wouldn’t let him explore.

All bad things.

He offered Max a tentative smile. “So… we good?”

Max exhaled forcefully and swore. “Yeah man, we’re good. Anyone who comes out of a family like that and still acts sane has to either be twice as crazy or have more grip on their sanity than the one percent on their money.”

Virgil laughed. “I thought I was crazy because of my music choices.”

“Oh no, you definitely are!” Max laughed. “Personally, I think you fall into the twice as crazy category but the thing is-”

He turned and offered Virgil a devilish grin.

“I can work with crazy.”


	7. Chapter 7

Patton felt weird. It felt like a bajillion butterflies were flying in his tummy, sunshine was coming out of his heart, and like his eyes were turning into hearts. But it wasn’t all the time. Just whenever he was looking at his friend Julien.

Julien with his perfect golden hair that somehow stuck straight up even though he said he never used gel. Julien who had to have jokes explained to him, but never failed to laugh once he got it. Julien who’s laugh sounded the way a sunset looked and looked the way ice cream tasted.

It was really very weird. Which made Patton act weird. He found himself sighing a lot as he daydreamed about doing different things with Julien. He caught himself doodling their names together in his notebooks and one time noticed he was staring. Very very weird.

One day Logan yanked him into Roman and Virgil’s room. He suddenly found himself sat on Roman’s bed with his fellow quadruplets staring at him.

“Okay, Pat-dre.” Roman said. “You’ve been acting weird the last couple days. What gives.”

Patton giggled at the pun then hummed thoughtfully. That was the only problem with brothers, he thought. They could always tell when you were acting off. He explained the problem to them.

“I just don’t know what’s going on!” He finished. “I mean I like being friends with him, but I don’t know what would be making me feel like… this.”

He stuck out his lip and Logan blinked at him slowly.

“Hold on a moment.” Logan said. “I need to fetch something from our room.”

The others waited and gave him bewildered looks when he returned with a rolled up newspaper. The confusion quickly turned to alarm as he used it to wack Patton in the forehead.

“Logan!” Virgil yelled. “What was that for?”

“I’m with Surly Temple, that was utterly out of left field!” Roman cried.

“Plus it hurt.” Patton wined, cradling his head.

Logan huffed and set the paper on Virgil’s desk. “I should think that one as adept at emotions as you are would have already arrived at a conclusion. I was merely trying to get your head back into working order the same way one would if it were an electronic.”

Roman blinked. “You wacked him on the head to restart his brain like an Xbox?”

“Yes.”

Virgil facepalmed and Roman sighed.

“Okay well, if you think it’s that obvious would you care to share with the class, Teach?” Roman asked.

Logan nodded. “Certainly. Patton, based on the symptoms you described it is clear to me that the feelings you are encountering stem from a desire to have a deeper relationship with Julien.”

Patton blinked. “Deeper… more than friends?”

Virgil smirked. “Yeah Pat, more than friends.”

“Like… best friends?”

Apparently it was Roman’s turn to facepalm. Patton idly wondered when it would be his turn and when he’d know.

“No.” He groaned. “Even deeper.”

Patton thought hard for a moment. He even did the “thinker” pose he’d seen on the statue in Night at the Museum two. It didn’t help a lot, but he thought it made him look smarter.

“Um… Best friends forever?” he tried.

“You have a crush, Patton!” Roman exclaimed. “You want to date him and be his boyfriend! Jeemanettie, why is this so difficult.”

Patton blinked, straightening his spine suddenly. A crush? A crush.

He deflated. “I don’t know, though. I like him a lot, but I like everything a lot.”

Logan rolled his eyes.

“Do you find him aesthetically pleasing?” he asked.

Patton furrowed his eyebrows, head listing to the side.

“Try again, Lo.” Virgil said.

Logan huffed. “Do you like looking at him.”

Patton brighted and nodded quickly. “He’s so pretty! His hair looks like cookies when you first pull them out of the oven and his eyes look like a bright summer day and-”

“Okay, the answer is yes, understood.” Logan said, holding up a hand as if to physically stop the flow of words. “Does being around him make you happy?”

Patton sighed dreamily, thinking of how Julien’s face lit up after he explained a joke. How his entire body just seemed to glow and how Patton felt like a happy little flower just being close enough to soak up his sunlight.

“Yeah.” Patton said, the word coming out in a gooey mess.

Logan made a face and Roman’s eyes lit up.

“Eugh.”

“Awww!”

“Guys focus.” Virgil said. “Pat, do you feel this way about anyone else or is it just about Julien.”

Patton did his thinker pose again. This one was a toughie. He liked Julien a lot. Like a whole hecking heap. But did he really like Julien more than any of his other friends? It didn’t seem fair to them if the answer was yes, but sometimes it did feel like he wanted to spend more time with him than he did any other friend.

It wasn’t that he loved his other friends less, he realized. Just that he loved Julien more. He wasn’t sure what the difference was, exactly, but he knew there was one and that it was important.

“I have a crush.” He whispered.

He bounced off Roman’s bed and grinned. He started dancing around the room.

“I have a crush!” He sang. “I have a crush!”

He drew Logan into his dance, whirling his brainy bro around the room and grinning even as the other boy grimaced.

“A crush! A crush, a crush, a crush!” He giggled. “I have a crush on Julien!”

All at once something occurred to him and he stopped. Logan fell out of his grip and onto the floor with a thud and a groan. He heard Roman and Virgil snicker at Logan before Roman turned to him, eyes filled with concern.

“Is, uh… Is everything alright?” He asked.

Patton slowly sat down on the floor and looked up at Roman.

“What… What do I do about it?” he asked.

His brothers paused and looked at each other. Virgil and Logan shrugged.

Roman looked back at him. “I think you should tell him. It’s the only way to see if he likes you best! Next time at lunch: you sweep him right off his feet, look into his eyes and ask him out.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding? If he does that in person he could get tongue tied and nervous and trip over his words and stutter and-”

Patton gulped. “I vote we don’t do that.”

“Not to mention the public rejection if Julien doesn’t like him back!” Virgil continued. “Doing something so private in a public setting like lunch? And then having it backfire?”

Patton shook his head violently. “Nono, nopity no. Next idea please.”

Roman scowled. “Well if that’s so bad, what would you recommend Winne the Blue?”

“Easy.” Virgil said. “He should hide under the covers until high school.”

Logan scoffed. “Now who’s the fanciful one?”

“Me!” Roman said cheerfully.

Logan glared at him.

“The most logical compromise,” he said, turning to Patton again. “Would be to confess, but without being there in person.”

“Okay!” Patton asked brightly. “How do I do that?”

Logan hummed thoughtfully. “Well I suppose you could do it over a text-”

Roman balked. “A text? A text, Calculator Watch? No, no. This is romance we’re talking about. He needs to do this properly.”

Roman shot to his feet, eyes glittering.

“You should write him a note!” He said.

Patton clambered up. “Oh, I like that idea!”

Roman beamed and ran to his desk. He grabbed a sheet of paper and a handful of markers and thrust them on the desk before twirling Patton into the chair. Patton looked at the paper gleefully before pausing again.

“Um… what do I write?” He asked.

“Doesn’t matter.” Roman said. “Just write from the very depths of your heart.”

Patton nodded uncertainty and started writing.

***

After five minutes he held up the page proudly.

“All done!”

“Good,” Logan said. “Let’s hear it then.”

Virgil winced. “Are you sure that’s smart? I mean it’s something private, Patton’s thoughts about his crush.”

Logan waved a hand dismissively. “It’s called peer review. Our favorite brother is putting himself on the line here, I doubt any of us want to risk things going south.”

Patton felt a warm glow in his chest. “Aw, I can’t be everyone’s favorite brother.”

“You are.” The others said in unison.

Patton blushed.

“You guys are too sweet!” he giggled. “Okay, okay. I’ll read it.”

He cleared his throat. “Dear Julien, I- erm, would like to take this chance to speak from the heart, but hearts don’t have mouths. Wow, that was bad. Not one of my best. I- er- um- well. I don’t know how to put this. I- erm, well, huh… Is it hot in here? It feels a little hot. I-”

“Okay!” Virgil said, clapping his hands loudly. “I think that was enough to say… that was pretty bad.”

Patton wilted. “Was it that bad?”

Roman winced. “Well… It wasn’t your best.”

Patton ducked his head. He hadn’t thought it was that bad. Maybe not good, but he wasn’t the creative one. He wasn’t good with his words and when he’d tried to write the ones in his heart he got all tripped up and had just written what he was thinking.

He started to sniffle and Roman rushed to his side.

“Whoa, whoa! No need for that.” he said. “We just- uh, need to workshop it a little bit!”

Logan nodded. “Yes. For example, if you are struggling with words of your own perhaps you could use those of someone else.”

He tapped his chin thoughtfully before crossing to Virgil’s bookshelf. He pulled out a slim book with pretty branches on the cover and started flipping through it.

“Ah, here we are.” he said, settling on a page. “Longing, by Matthew Arnold. ‘Come to me in my dreams, and then By day I shall be well again. For then the night will more than pay The hopeless longing of the day.

“‘Come, as thou cam’st a thousand times, A messenger from radiant climes, And smile on thy new world, and be As kind to others as to me.”

Logan threaded a bookmark into the book and closed it, looking into the eyes of his awestruck brothers.

“What?” He asked. “Did you wish to hear the entire poem? I know it was just a portion but I thought it was sufficient for the purpose.”

Patton was the first to recover, shaking his head and closing his mouth.

“No, it’s just… I had no idea you could read like that, Lo-Lo.”

Logan flushed. “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman gave him a bewildered look.

“Well, uh… The poem was very good.” He said. “Maybe that’s how you could confess.”

Patton frowned. “But what if he takes it as like, a friend thing?”

Logan snorted. “The title of the poem is Longing. I find that very hard to misconstrue.”

Virgil frowned, too. “No. I think he’s got a point. We’re studying poetry in Ms. Davis’ class this quarter. Julien could take it as just sharing a poem you liked.”

Patton felt his face scrunch before he got a brilliant idea.

“What if I wrote him a poem!” He suggested.

The others grimaced and caste a glance at the letter he’d already written. He blushed as he got the message.

“Okay well… What if you guys write poems for me and I’ll pick my favorite one to give to Julien?”

Logan considered it, Virgil scrunching into a ball on the bed behind him. Roman, however, had already leapt back to his feet.

“Challenge accepted!” He said. “Trust me, dearest brother. Your love life is safe in my hands.”

“This is gonna end in tears.” Virgil added from his ball.

Patton waved a hand at him, both inviting him over and shooing away his gloomy words. It probably looked more like he was flapping an arm but oh well.

“Come on Virgil just give it a chance!” He said. “It’s just a couple ‘a poems. What could go wrong?”

****

Logan was finished first, which surprised pretty much no one.

“I have chosen to compose a haiku. It is Upfront, honest, and to the point.” He cleared his throat. “For those who love me, I shall be kind but I wish, for a date with you.”

Logan looked up from his paper and saw Patton’s wrinkled nose. His face started to fall and Patton backpedaled.

“It’s, not… bad.” He said. “It’s just a little stiff is all.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “It sounds like a poem from a Sims game.”

Logan frowned. “No it doesn’t. This is what it would sound like in a Sims game: Mepoto globe hango, zeepe do freshno mar plark, da-”

“Okay, well if Uno Roboto is done, I finished my poem!” Roman decreed.

Logan scowled. “I wasn’t done actu-”

“When the moon river flows, gently to my sweet, the sun itself wishes it arose, to tickle at his feet. His lips are like a rose, his hair like golden silk, the toads wish they could kiss him, and become one of his ilk. My loves name is Julien, and mine own Patton fair, and I want his eyes of cerulean to see only me, fair and square. Eight o clock at the playground, unless thou wants a different gate, you and I can abound, for the sweetest date.”

Roman grinned up at them proudly and Patton gave him a dreamy sigh.

“That was lovely.” He said.

Logan frowned harder. “Hardly. It was nonsensical and strange. You dropped a rhyme at least once and used confusing imagery. It hardly gets the point across.”

Roman scowled. “Well at least mine has the sense of romance in it! Yours sounds like it come out of a robot!”

“Well at lease mine sounds like it was written by someone with a scrap of intellect.” Logan retorted. “Your’s just sounds like there are rose petals where your brain should be.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

The two started arguing and Patton sighed. This was probably going to take awhile. He started doodling a sun in the corner of his paper. He’d written a poem too, even though he wasn’t really supposed to. His brothers had given him the paper to color on while they made their poems. But he’d just wanted to try.

After reading his own work, though he decided his brothers made the right call. His poem didn’t even sound like one. It didn’t rhyme like Roman’s or have a pattern like Logan’s. And Virgil was so good at writing that Patton would probably pick what he’d made whether he’d made his own poem or not. So he might as well avoid wasting the paper.

Virgil sidled up to him and peered at the page.

“Hey, that’s pretty good Pat.” He said.

Patton blushed and worked on filling in the sun. “Oh, I don’t know. I bet whatever you wrote is even better.”

“Hard to say, considering I didn’t write anything.” Virgil smirked. “I spent the whole time drawing.”

Patton half smiled at that. “Still… that doesn’t mean it’s good.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Virgil admitted. “But it’s yours. You wrote it from the heart and were honest about your feelings. That’s what makes it good.”

“But… Ro-Lo…”

“Eh, forget them.” Virgil shrugged. “Logan focuses too much on the technical side, and Roman thinks too hard about the emotional one. This?” he tapped Patton’s poem. “Is a perfect mix of the two.”

Patton blushed. “Thanks Vee.”

“Anytime.”

Patton smiled and stood up, holding his poem tightly.

“I’ve made my decision.” He said, interrupting the other two.

“You have?” Logan asked.

“But we haven’t even heard Virgil’s yet!” Roman said.

Patton shrugged. “Well… Virgil…. Didn’t really write one. But it doesn’t matter! I know which poem I pick.”

The other two leaned forward eagerly, each ready to gloat when Patton decreed they’d “won.”

“I’m picking neither of them.” He said. “I… I’m gonna give Julien something from my heart. Something upfront and honest, a little romantic, but let’s him know I’m still me.”

He beamed at them and left the room. He knew exactly which envelope this needed to be perfect, but they were in Dad’s “office.” Besides, Virgil explained everything so well he could probably handle it.

****

At lunch the next day Patton felt incredibly nervous. He kept fingering the bright yellow envelope and his throat got that “swallowed-too-much-cookie-dough” feeling. Luckily, the butterflies in his tummy were trying to move it! They were helpfully climbing into his throat, probably shoving on the wad of cookie dough.

The little butterflies were being so helpful he was hesitant to tell them he felt like he was gonna throw up.

He decided to pull Julien aside right after lunch, so that there was free time to talk but if it was a no, he wouldn’t have to make up an excuse to leave. That had been Virgil’s idea, but Logan agreed to it, which meant it had to be good because those two rarely agreed.

Lunch ended both too quick and not quick enough and Patton pulled Julien aside in the hallway.

“I… um,” He swallowed hard. “HERE!”

He thrust the envelope at Julien and looked to the floor. The butterflies had now seen fit to set his face on fire.

He listened as Julien tore open the envelope.

“Roses are red,” He read. “Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Tulips come in all sorts of colors, so do roses. I really like flowers, but I like you more. Daffodils are also yellow, would you like to have a date with me?”

Patton felt his face go redder than the roses named, still not looking at Julien. Then he felt something else. A hand gently taking his.

He looked up. Julien was looking at him with the sunshine-smile he loved so much, a little bit of pink dusting his cheeks.

“I would love to go on a date with you.” He said shyly. “Would a trip to the ice cream shop be okay?”

Patton grinned slowly. “It would be perfect!”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on something I actually did with my sibling. Just a lil, quiet, fluffy moment before the storm.

“Lo?” A soft voice asked.

Logan looked up from his book, a very thrilling anthology on social class, which he had been working through most of the morning. Patton was smiling at him shyly and clutching at his laptop, which could only mean one thing.

Logan sighed a stuffed a strip of paper in the book to mark his place and gave his brother his undivided attention.

“Yes?” He asked. “How can I help you, Patton?”

Patton laughed awkwardly.

“Well, I can’t seem to find that playlist Virgil made me.” he explained. “I’ve searched for it all over Spotify and I just can’t spot it. I was wondering-”

Logan rolled his eyes and motioned for the laptop. Patton’s smile shifted into gratitude and he handed it to his more logical sibling. Logan brought up the playlist in question on his phone and began searching for it on Patton’s laptop.

After three varying searches he gave up and turned back to Patton.

“I can’t find it.” He said. “If you’ll allow me, I can build a copy for you from scratch, but it may take a few minutes.”

Patton smiled. “That would be nice! Thank you, Logan.”

Logan nodded in acknowledgement and typed the first song in the search bar. Patton climbed onto the bed next to him and watched the screen.

They stayed that way quietly for a few minutes, the comfortable silence only occasionally broken by Logann asking if Patton was certain he wanted this or that song on it and Patton responding by humming it and nodding.

He was on the last two songs when Logan got an idea. He pressed play on the song he’d just played and Patton had, predictably, jumped up and begun dancing. As quickly as his fingers would allow him, Logan added two extra songs to the playlist before Patton plopped back onto the bed and curled around him in a hug.

Logan smiled inwardly. Just according to keikaku.

He showed Patton how to reach the playlist before frowning at the account’s emptiness.

“Patton, there is hardly anything on here.” He said. “In fact, aside from what we just made there is nothing on here at all. Yet I have rarely seen you in the kitchen without headphones in To put it colloquially-”

Logan whipped out his flashcards and flipped through them a moment.

“Ah. “What gives?”” He asked, proud he’d been able to use the slang correctly.

Patton’s smile grew shy again and his cheeks dusted with pink.

“Well, I can’t really figure all this out,” He said, gesturing at the website. “So for the most part I’ve been using YouTube for music.”

Logan sighed. “If you needed help you could have come to me sooner.”

“I know, but… well I was a little embarrassed.” Patton laughed. “Kinda silly, huh?”

Logan shrugged. “I suppose. Here, I know you enjoy that Matilda musical, for some reason so…”

He clicked around before returning to Patton’s account page.

“There!” He said, not without a tint of pride. “Now you can listen to it at any time.”

Patton gasped softly and hugged him.

“Can you do that with all my music?” Patton asked.

Logan hummed. “Well there are limits. However I can likely find most of it on here. What is another album you enjoy?”

Patton withdrew from the hug, instead choosing to let his head rest on Logan’s shoulder.

“Could you find Steven Universe?”

****

Weeks later, Patton reached the last two songs and he grinned.

“Love you too, Lo-lo!” He shouted down the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started being home-schooled in middle school so I don’t even know if Social Studies is a thing you actually learn at that age. I just couldn’t think of another category that I could see Logan doing less than perfect in.

Math - A

English - A

Social Studies - B

History - A

Science - A

Logan scowled at the bad grade. It was the only thing marring his perfect score.

He knew precisely why he’d gotten it, too. He’d overspent himself the night before an exam and gotten Persia confused with Prussia one too many times. It was a foolish mistake, idiotic, really. But he’d done it and the teacher refused to let him do any extra credit or make-up, claiming his score was high enough that it wouldn’t make a horrific impact on his grades.

This teacher was evidently a bold-faced liar.

It didn’t help that the instant they saw each other Roman was waving his straight A’s in Logan’s face. Roman had gotten a better score than him. Roman.

And then Patton and Virgil followed, shyly showing their own scores. All A’s.

They, of course, turned to him expectantly. Awaiting the final perfect score that would make their father buy them ice cream instead of dinner. He faked confidence and explained he wasn’t in the mood to show off.

They’d bought it and Logan was left to wallow in his own shame.

It wasn’t that Logan thought his brothers were stupid. Quite the opposite. In his experience, however, their intelligence had always laid outside the world of academia. Patton could cook well enough to put TV chefs to shame. Roman could view an item and give it three backstories within a minute. Virgil could look at a given situation and tell whether or not it was safe. Logan was the one with all the book smarts, a perfect straight- well okay maybe not straight- a perfect gay A student.

That was how he defined himself, that was how they all defined him. Adjectives to differentiate, make it easier for those outside themselves to tell who was who. Patton was the nice one, Roman was the creative one, Virgil was the emo one, and Logan was the smart one. If they didn’t have that they would be stuck in an endless cycle of being mistaken for each other. It was, in a way, the perfect system.

But, Logan reflected. It had its drawbacks.

He dreaded going home. Their father would inevitably ask for their report cards once they arrived. He wasn’t so cruel as to deny them over one grade, but he would likely say something like “Well, it’s not perfect, but it’s close enough to count!” or something equally as cheerfully positive. His brothers, knowing their own and each others scores, would instantly know he hadn’t matched up. That he’d failed.

He wouldn’t be “Logan the smart one” anymore, he’d just be Logan. Logan who wasn’t anything special. Logan who was just sort of there. Logan who had nothing else to define him. To separate him from being RomanPattonVirgil’s brother.

Just Logan.

And he didn’t know what to with that.

Unfortunately, returning home was unavoidable. He had managed the entire day without his brothers catching on, though he had been admittedly subdued as Patton and Roman discussed ice cream flavors on the bus.

Their father was waiting for them in the living room. Logan took his time putting away his books while his brothers clambered over to him, showing off their cards.

He winced internally at his father’s laughter and slowly made his way to them.

His father saw him and looked up expectantly. “What’d you get, Logan?”

Logan painted a smug look on his face, internally panicking and praying he wouldn’t ask for the report card itself.

“I did as well as could be expected.” He said, making sure his voice had the exact timbre of someone who was trying not to be smug.

Roman rolled his eyes. “Like Albert Four-Eyes-Stein could ever get a bad grade, Dad. Come on.”

Logan felt himself blush, though not for the reason everyone seemed to take it as.

Their dad laughed. “Don’t be mean, Ro.”

“Sorry.”

“Anyway,” Dad continued. “These are some pretty good scores, everyone. I’m really impressed. Get started on homework and we’ll see about that ice cream dinner, huh?”

Roman let out a whoop and Patton cheered so hard he fell off his precarious seating on the back of the couch. Even Virgil gave a lopsided smile as they trekked to their rooms.

Logan made to follow them when Dad’s voice stopped him.

“Logan hang on a sec,” he said. “I still need that card so I can put it on the fridge.”

Logan felt a weight settle in his stomach. It made him slower as he reached into his bag and handed the ard to his father. He looked at the carpet, at the television, the ceiling. Anything to avoid the disappointed look that was surely in his father’s eyes.

“Logan,” His father said softly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Illogical tears prickled in Logan’s eyes and he hastily scrubbed them away.

“I… I didn’t want you to know.” He said, voice quieter than he expected. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I’m the smart one and everyone got a better score than me. I failed. I’m the smart one and I failed.”

He sniffed and looked up, attempting for his usual facade of collectiveness.

“It wasn’t right of me to attempt hiding it. The poor grade is my own fault. Therefore instead of having ice cream like my brothers, I believe I will study in an attempt not to replicate it. I-”

“Logan.” Father interrupted sternly. “Calm down, you aren’t in trouble.”

Logan blinked, looking at his father in surprise.

“I’m… I’m not?”

His father enveloped him in a hug. “Of course not! A B is hardly the end of the world. It may not be perfect, but I’ve never wanted you guys to be. The ice cream dinners are just a little extra motivation because I know Roman probably wouldn’t try otherwise.”

Logan let out a shaky laugh. It was true. Roman knew where his strength lie and if he could get away with it he would spend every class daydreaming.

His smile fell. “But… But I’m the intelligent one. Everyone got a better grade than I did, what are they going to think when they find out?”

Dad paused for a momentet, considering.

“They aren’t going to think less of you, Logan. I want you to know that. But if you really don’t want them to know, I won’t tell them.”

Logan sniffed again, more tears prickling in his eyes. “But the fridge-”

“I’ll just put up an old one.” Dad said. “I’ll say you spilled milk on this one or something.”

“You would lie just to protect my fragile mental image?” Logan asked, feeling his lip quiver.

His dad hugged him tighter. “Logan for you, I would slay giants.”

Logan finally returned the hug and snuggled into his dad’s collarbone.

“Now I know where Roman gets his fantastical goals from.” He muttered.

His dad laughed. “Yeah, I’ll admit there’s a lot of me in Roman. But you know what?”

His dad pulled back, sparkling eyes looking into Logan’s.

“There’s a lot of me in you, too.” He said. “Your drive to learn, your love of the stars, you come by all that honestly, kiddo.”

Logan beamed. He wasn’t one for emotional outbursts, that was more Patton’s criteria, but right now, in his Dad’s arms after a rough day, he felt like he was glowing hard enough to fly into the sky with all the stars he and his dad loved so much.

“So, you want to watch a documentary before dinner?”

Logan scrubbed his eyes, and nodded.

“I would like that a lot, thank you.” He hesitated. “Thank you.”

Dad smiled softly and squeezed his shoulder lightly. “Anytime, Lo.”


	10. Chapter 10

Virgil shivered, kind of wishing he’d stuffed an umbrella in his backpack. But if he’d stopped to try and find one someone might have woken up and talked him into staying. And he really didn’t want to stay anymore.

He was tired of being the problem kid. Tired of Roman glaring at him every time Pap got brought up. Tired of being blamed for everything that went wrong, especially because it was always his fault somehow. Tired of holding everyone back.

He’d phoned Grandma a week ago to ask if he could stay over, careful not to say for how long. She’d agreed, thankfully, so all he had to do was catch a bus to downtown.

Which was proving difficult at ten pm in the rain.

He was cold, wet, and really, really tired. If he weren’t committed to the idea of not going home he would’ve called it a night two hours ago. But a little voice that sounded a lot like Roman’s called him a baby and said to suck it up. So he did.

Or he would after he had a good cry anyway.

The sound of footsteps made him freeze though. His mind raced with images of being taken to someone’s house and murdered in gruesome ways. It didn’t help that the footsteps were getting closer. And closer. And closer. And stopped right next to him.

All of a sudden he felt the rain stop hitting his hood. He lifted his head a little, looking at a stranger’s shoes.

“You okay kiddo?” Asked a deep, oddly familiar voice. “You’ve been out here for over an hour.”

Virgil gulped. “How- how’d do you know?”

“I live just across the street and saw you out the window. I wanted to make sure you were okay so I watched you for a bit.”

“Likely story.” Virgil said. “That- that sounds like something a kidnapper would say.”

The voice chuckled. “True enough. But I promise I’m not. I’ve even got a pot of hot cocoa ready if you want it.”

He did. He really, really did. But he wasn’t about to trust some random guy he’d met in the middle of the night. The man seemed to realize this as he slowly exhaled.

“Tell you what,” He said. “I’m gonna go home now and I’ll give you my umbrella. If you want to, you can follow behind me or come a bit later when your ready. But you don’t have to, okay?”

That cinched it. He didn’t want to take the man’s umbrella and have to return it later. Was it a flimsy reason? Yes. Did Virgil care? No. At least if he were about to be killed he’d be warm first.

He stood shakily and choldered his bag. He turned to the man, head still ducked.

“I… I’ll come.” He said.

“Okay then.” The man said, audible smile in his voice. “Do you want to hold the umbrella?”

Virgil shook his head and the man started leading the way. He hadn’t been lying about living across the street, at least. He lived in a sweet-looking house, and Virgil could see into the brightly lit kitchen. It looked… cheerful.

And it was certainly warm, he thought as he walked in the front door. He heard the man behind him putting down the umbrella and realized he could probably put down his hood. He gripped the sides slowly, still taking in his cozy surroundings.

“My kids are asleep at the moment,” the man said, walking to stand in front of him. “So we’ll have to be quiet, but I think-”

The man stopped as they finally faced each other, Virgil’s hood falling. He looked his rescuer full in the face, and felt his own pale. It was familiar. Too familiar. He’d grown a beard and his hair was grayer, but it was a face that peppered Virgil’s nightmares and haunted his insecurities.

“Papa?”

****

Thomas awoke that morning filled with dread. He didn’t know why, but there was a pit in his stomach that refused to go away. It persisted while he made coffee and throughout eating his cereal.

He mulled over his options carefully and elected to check on the kids. That might not get rid of the anxiety, but it might ease it.

He crept to Logan and Patton’s room and smiled in spite of himself. They both looked so peaceful. Logan was curled up around his bear, Nikola Tesla, his unicorn onesie barely poking out from under the blankets. Patton was likewise in his cat onesie, though he was doing his best impression of a starfish under the covers.

They both looked happy, lost in dreamland.

Thomas closed the door with a soft smile and snuck to Virgil and Roman’s room. Roman was squished against his enormous stuffed dragon, sleep mumbling about witches. Thomas chuckled and looked to Virgil’s bed. Where a large mass was currently settled in the middle of the bed.

Thomas watched it for a second, feeling his unease grow. The mass wasn’t breathing.

He rushed to the side of the bed and flug back the covers. A jolt ran through him as the mass, which he’d thought was a son in distress, turned out to be a bunch of pillows.

But it was okay, surely! Maybe he spent the night on the couch and left the pillows so Roman wouldn’t go looking for him during the night. It had happened before, surely that’s all it was.

He ran back to the living room, the dread growing in his stomach.

His breath grew short, looking at the empty couch.

He ran back to the boy’s room and shook Roman awake.

He blinked awake groggily. “Dad? Wha’s goin on?”

“Have you seen Virgil?” Thomas asked in a rush.

Roman scrubbed at his eyes. “Virge? No, I just woke up. Isn’ he in bed?”

Thomas bit his lip. “I… Did you hear anything last night? Any weird noises?”

Roman looked up at him with wide eyes. “Dad, you’re scaring me. Where’s Virgil?”

Thomas grabbed his shoulders. “Just answer, did you hear anything?”

Roman trembled and shook his head. “No, no I didn’t. I swear.”

Thomas let him go and started pacing. He pulled out his phone and hit Joan’s contact.

“Dad?”

Thomas held up a hand and Roman fell quiet. Patton and Logan walked in, rubbing their eyes and yawning.

“Wha’s goin on?” Patton asked. “Why’s erry one bein loud?”

“Virgil isn’t here and Dad won’t tell me what’s going on.” Roman said, sounding like he was on the edge of tears.

“Virgil’s gone?” Pattn cried.

“Boys, just- please!” Thomas motioned for them to be quiet.

Finally the ringing stopped and he heard Joan’s sleep-gravelly voice filter through the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Joan!” Thomas said. “Is Virgil with you?”

“What? No.” Joan said, confusion evident in their voice. “Why would Virgil be over here?”

“He’s not in his bed and he’s isn’t anywhere else in the house.” THomas said, edgeing on panic.

“Are you sure you checked everywhere?” Joan asked.

“I don’t have a big house, Joan!” Thomas shighed. “I’m sorry I just… I’m worried. I don’t know where he could be.”

“It’s okay.” Joan said. “We’ll find him. Me and Talyn will head out now and start looking, okay?”

Thomas nodded. “Thank you.”

He hung up and turned back to his other sons. Patton and ROman seemed on the brink of tears, and Logan’s eyes were moving frantically side to side, as if he was thinking very hard.

Thomas came forward and scooped them into a big hug.

“It’s okay.” He said, gently rubbing someone’s hair. “It’s all gonna be okay, we’ll find him. We’ll find him.”

Logan broke out of the hug first and started pacing himself.

“I don’t know where he would have gone.” Patton sniffled. “Or why he even would have left.”

“I might.” Roman said, head slowly dropping. “I was stupid again. I said a bunch of stuff yesterday.”

“Yes, but even your stupidity shouldn’t have driven him to this by its lonesome.” Logan said, still pacing. “We are all to blame for this, if that is the case.”

He paused suddenly and ran to Virgil’s nightstand. He started rooting through the drawer frantically before whirling with a triumphant smile.

“He’s got his phone.” He said. “Virgil always keeps his phone in this drawer on a charging dock. If he were kidnapped, he would not have had time to reach in and grab it. But more importantly-”

Logan grinned. “He has it with him. He won’t pick it up but we can track him.”

Thomas blushed lightly. “And what makes you think I have that type of tech, mister?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Please. You are a single father with four children. One of which is Roman.”

“Hey!”

“-It would be borderline irresponsible of you not to be able to tell where we are at a given moment.” Logan shrugged. “I never said anything because I trusted you would use it responsibly. Something I am grateful for now.”

Thomas sighed. “Fine. I can’t deny it’s a good idea.”

They scrambled to Thomas’ “office,” which was really just a desk in the corner of the living room. Thomas brought up the software and felt relief flood through him.

Twenty-three o’ four Maple street. He wasn’t far.

He exhaled in relief and texted Joan.

“Grab your shoes, boys. We’re gonna find your brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIIIIIIIIIIIFF HANGER, HANGINGFROMACLIFF


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT’S WHY HE’S CALLED CLIFF HANGER!
> 
> I chose the name Clay at random, but I’m keeping the other details about their Papa purposefully vague so that he can look like anyone and no one and also so genetics don’t mess with my plot. FYI, with some exceptions the chapters should mirror canon somewhat from here on out. Just so that I’m not writing filler forever and burning myself out. This doesn’t mean it’s ending anytime soon, just a heads up. :P

Virgil slept uneasily. The man- no, Papa… no… Clay. Clay had insisted he go to bed after a cup of hot chocolate. He’d drained the cup quickly in order to duck out of the tense silence that had settled after they each realized who the other was.

What were even the odds of that? Of Virgil trying to run away and stopping right across the street from the man who had caused all of them so many problems.

Logan might know. He was good at statistics, no matter how infinitesimal they were.

Virgil curled tighter into himself. Logan would be better off now. They all would be. Happier. Without him.

Once the clock reached six, Virgil stopped trying to sleep altogether and sat up. He scrolled through his phone, trying to think up a game plan through his panic. He’d left his bag in the front hall, so it wouldn’t be difficult to grab it and go, but he didn’t know if the door was locked. Or when the buses started going.

The other option was to make himself useful until Pa- until Clay came down and told him what the game plan was. The drawback to that was… he really didn’t want to look at the man. He hadn’t so much as been in the same room with him since Virgil was six, so he really wasn’t looking forward to any conversation with him.

Especially with the gigantic elephant in the room.

He wondered if Grandma would pick him up.

Clay came down at six twenty-seven, and Virgil quickly laid back down, pretending he was still asleep. He listened carefully as Clay made breakfast, clanking around the kitchen. Virgil jolted as the doorbell rang suddenly.

He screwed his eyes shut as Clay shuffled over to it and he heard a sharp gasp.

“Thomas.” Clay said.

“Clay…” Said a voice that could only be Dad.

Virgil bit his lip. Now he’d done it. Dad had somehow found him and because life hated him, Virgil just had to get brought in with the last person Dad would ever want to see, bringing them face to face.

He forced his face to relax so he could listen.

“I’m here for one of the boys,” Dad said, sounding stiffly. “He left in the middle of the night and we tracked his phone here.”

“He’s here.” Clay said awkwardly. “I’m… I don’t know which one he is but he’s asleep on the couch.”

“It’s Virgil.” Dad said coldly. “Would you mind if we came in to get him?”

“I don’t…” Clay paused. “Um… sure. Come on in.”

Virgil listened as Dad, Clay, and a few more people walked into the living room.

“We should probably let him sleep a bit.” Clay said. “He seemed pretty upset last night and it was pretty late-”

“What time was it?” asked a clipped voice that was definitely Logan.

“Um… a bit past ten? Maybe closer to eleven.”

“He’s awake.” Logan said. “Virgil rarely goes to bed before twelve and always wakes up at six o’clock, no matter how many times I try to correct him on it. He is likely even listening to us at the moment.”

There was a long stretch of silence and Virgil shly sat up.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked quietly.

Dad frowned at him. “I think the better question is what are you doing here, mister?”

Clay smiled nervously. “I think I’ll just… leave you all to it.”

He slowly backed into the kitchen, avoiding the glares directed at him.

Virgil fiddled with the blanket in front of him. “I just… I decided to duck out.”

“Quack.”

“Duck out?” Dad asked.

“Quack, quack.” Patton said, a weak smile on his face.

Dad shot him a look and turned back to Virgil. “Why would you do that?”

Virgil shrugged. “I dunno… I just… It didn’t feel like anyone wanted me around anymore.”

Patton gasped.

“Except you, Patton.” Virgil corrected. “I knew you loved me, but like, you love everyone.

“I…it’s stupid but I feel like I kept messing up. Like I kept doing the wrong thing. It didn’t feel like anyone wanted me there so I just… left.”

“Well surely you knew we were just trying to prepare ourselves for your… dismal demeanor!” Roman said.

Virgil glared at him.

“”Okay, uh,” Roman coughed “Maybe I could rephrase that. We were just compensating because you have this tendency to-”

Virgil turned his glare to the blanket, anger boiling in his stomach as Roman proved his frigging point.

Roman stammered. “It’s just- Look, you’re never really fun and-”

“Roman,” Dad said. “Shut up.”

“Look, I am the creative one,” Roman said. “Not the cutesy, nice one. We all know that’s Patton.”

“One would think the creative one would be able to think up a nicer way to talk to people.” Logan said, also glaring at Roman.

“You’d think the smart one would be able to mind his own business.” Roman said, teeth gritting.

Virgil huffed. “Look, it’s nice that you all tracked me down, but if I wanted to stand around and be insulted I wouldn’t have left in the first place.”

Patton let out a small whine, which he ignored.

Dad held up his hands. “Okay, okay. Let’s all calm down. Virgil I think I’m starting to see where you’re coming from. But why, in the name of sweet Barbra Streisand, did you run here? How did you even find him?”

“I didn’t mean to!” Virgil snapped. “I was trying to get to Grandma’s. She said I could come for a visit and take care of the flowers. Pap- Mr. Clay found me at the bus stop.”

Dad sighed. “Okay. So I’ll add my mother to the list of people who need a talking to, but at least you had a destination.”

Dad walked to the couch and sat down in front of Virgil. His eyes were full of more concern than Virgil had ever seen. He looked away quickly. He’d put that there and it hurt to look at.

Dad’s hand rested on his knee.

“Virgil if you felt this way you could have come to me. However you feel is completely valid, even if it feels stupid.”

Virgil sniffled. “It is stupid. It isn’t just that no one wants me… Everyone hates me. I know they do! Ever since we were six I’ve been life’s punching bag and I deserve it!”

He felt tears drip down his face and stubbornly looked at his lap. “I deserve it because I was stupid. And after I was stupid I got worried. The world just got so scary and no one could see it but me. No matter what I did or said. No one would listen! And they were right. I was just… Just holding everyone back. I overdo it. And I finally get it now. I’m just the villain. So this villain is just gonna go live with Grandma so the heroes can be happy. I’m okay with that.”

He felt himself tremble as he curled into his hoodie, trying to disappear into the fabric. Though whether that was so he couldn’t see everyone’s relief or so they didn’t see his tears he didn’t know.

“I’m fine with it.” He repeated. “It’s okay, I promise.”

“Well I’m not!”

He lifted his head. Patton was looking at him with angry, tear-filled eyes. He marched over and plopped himself right in front of Virgil, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

“I’m not okay with it.” Patton whispered. “I love you a whole lot! I’ve known you for forever and I’ve never thought of you as the villian! You are perfect and special just the way you are. I don’t care how dark your clothes are because you shine.”

Patton drew back a bit and smiled at him, though it looked a little weird through all the tears.

“I don’t like picking favorites, but if I had to I’d pick you in a heartbeat. You’re the best brother ever! You always make sure I take my meds, you listen to me, and you’ve never once told me I’m annoying!”

Patton squeezed his shoulders and Virgil swallowed hard.

“I don’t…” He swallowed again. “That’s just you, Pat. You love… everyone. I’m sure if Logan and I were switched right now you’d be saying the same stuff to him.”

Logan snorted, also walking over the couch, though he stayed standing.

“Hardly.” He said. “Even setting aside the fact that you and I are not burdened by the same insecurities, we all know Patton speaks solely from the heart. It would be out of character for him to lie, even if it were to make someone feel better.”

Logan shifted awkwardly. “Besides, I know we joke about Patton being everyone’s favorite, but I don’t think a single one of us has a least favorite. We are all a necessary part of this family and I could not imagine it functioning well without any one of us. Beyond that, I myself would be… desolate… if you elected to leave for good.”

Virgil blinked up Logan. “I… do you-”

“I do not lie either.” Logan said. “Especially not for something as inconsequential as feelings.”

Virgil shrugged out of Patton’s arms and scrubbed at his eyes.

“Look, it’s… it’s really nice to hear everyone groveling like this. Well, almost everyone. But-”

“Virgil.”

He stopped, looking over at Roman. Roman was looking at him intently and walking over slowly.

“It would be lying if I said “I don’t know why you think I hate you.”” Roman said. “I’ve been nothing but mean to you since Papa left. I’ve belittled you, made fun of you and given you awful nicknames.”

Virgil’s head dropped. It wasn’t like he didn’t deserv-

“You did nothing to earn that.” Roman said, as if reading Virgil’s thoughts.

Virgil’s head snapped back up. Roman was looking at the ground, more ashamed than Virgil had ever seen him.

“I had no reason to be so awful.” Roman continued. “No matter what I thought. I was a mega jerk and you didn’t deserve that. You make our lives better, just by existing. You keep us from doing stupid things, and when we don’t listen to you you’re there to patch us up or help hide it from Dad.”

“You what?” Dad asked.

“You’re amazing, Virgil.” Roman said. “And I’m sorry that I ever made you think you think you weren’t.”

That did it. Virgil burst into tears and his brothers hugged him tightly.

“Leaving was a dumb idea.” He mumbled.

“Yeah, it was.” Patton laughed. “But I’m glad you told us all this.”

“Though I would appreciate if we could avoid the dramatics next time.” Logan added. “I would much rather do this in the comforts of our own living room.”

Dad laughed. “I sort of agree. Virgil if you ever feel like this again don’t hesitate to talk to me. And if that doesn’t feel like an option we can find you someone you can talk to. But problems can’t get better if you don’t talk about them, okay?”

Virgil nodded and gripped Patton tighter. Dad smiled softly and got off the couch.

“Okay. I’ll leave you guys to talk some stuff out, now. Come get me when you’re ready to go.”

Virgil nodded again and squeezed whoever’s hand he was holding. He didn’t know who it was and he didn’t care. It was his brother and that’s all that mattered.

****

Thomas sent Joan a text explaining it was okay. Relief washed through him as he walked out of the living room. Unfortunately, he walked into a different problem.

He tensed as Clay turned to him.

“Thank you.” he said stiffly. “If someone had to pick him up by the roadside I guess… you’re better than nothing.”

Clay softened. “It’s no problem. I’m glad I got to-”

“No.” Thomas interrupted. “No, you don’t get to come back now. The whole reason Virgil ran away is because he thought the others blamed him for you leaving them.”

Thomas scowled. “You don’t get to waltz back in now after almost eight years of radio silence.”

Clay recoiled, setting down the eggs he was making and looking at the ground.

“I… I thought about calling you over a hundred times.” He said softly. “Especially after I met Marissa. And even more after she died. I shouldn’t have left, I know that now. It was-”

“Save it.” Thomas said. “It’s been seven years since we talked and half as long since I cared.”

“Thomas if you’ll just listen-”

“No you listen.” Thomas stomped forward until he was almost in the other man’s face. “There’s not a thing on this earth you can do to make it up to me. You walked out. You and you alone. Since then I’ve had to step up and be the father you couldn’t bear to be. So no, you can’t make it up to me.

“But maybe,” He said. “Just maybe, you can make it up to them. Step up, and make the effort to keep in contact with them. You do it yourself, no help from me. Be the dad you weren’t before.”

Clay held his gaze ir a full minute before it dropped back to the ground.

“I… I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to!” He said rushedly. “I just… There’s a lot of things to consider now. Different things than there were before. I can’t just-”

“You never could, Clay.” Thomas said. “You never could. No matter how many chances you were given. You never could.”

He turned to walk back to the door. “You’ve got one last chance. Take it or leave it because after today, so help me I will not be bringing my boys back here.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Graphic descriptions. Nothing happens, Virgil just has a wild imagination. It’s the chunk in italics if you still want to read it. Also a fair amount of self-depreciation, but not from who you’d expect. Other than that it is fluff, I swear.

“Guuuuuuuuuys!”

The others jumped as Roman yelled, skidding into the room. He jumped onto the couch, knocking the controller from Virgil’s hands. He bounced there excitedly. Virgil winced. Both at the sound of Mario dying and Roman’s volume.

“Roman you now have our attention.” Logan said, setting down his own controller.

Roman beamed. “I just got my allowance!”

Logan rolled his eyes. “For goodness sake- that hardly qualifies the amount of fanfare with which you announced it. It is a bi-monthly event which we all go through. It does not bears shouting.”

“Well if you’d let me finished, Microsoft Nerd.” Roman said.

“Certainly, Malodorous Scent-urion.” Logan smirked.

Everyone paused to stare at him.

Patton blinked. “Um… burn?”

“Like the centurions?” Logan explained. “From rome? Only as a scent-”

Roman waved a hand. “Regardless! It isn’t my allowance I wished to declare, but rather what I wish to do with it. I have convinced our brilliant father to take us to a certain location before I tell you, though. So…”

He grinned brightly.

“Get in the car, princes! We’re going shopping!”

Virgil groaned. “I regret ever watching that movie with you.”

*****  
Despite their pestering, Roman managed to keep his lips sealed all the way to the store. Virgil would have been impressed at his normally loose-lipped brother’s resolve if it wasn’t so irritating.

When they pulled into the parking lot Roman was practically vibrating with excitement. Virgil, Logan, and Patton, however, were only more confused.

“A… thrift store?” Patton asked.

“What are we possibly going to get here?” Logan asked. “We have plenty of garments at home.”

Dad unbuckled and twisted to face them.

“Well, Ro had a good idea and I thought you guys would have fun with it.”

Roman nodded eagerly. “I didn’t know what I wanted to use my allowance for this month, but I did notice something else and came up with a completely brilliant plan!

“Christmas is coming up, right?”

“In a few months, yeah.” Virgil shrugged.

“Well, I was thinking this year we could make personalized Christmas cards to send to everyone!” Roman said, bouncing in his seat.

“But then, why the thrift store?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, and why now? It’s not like Christmas is anywhere close to now.” Virgil said.

“Shush and let me finish.” Roman said. “The plot twist comes in that we all are going to have custom outfits! Each on reflecting our personalities and individuality!”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, and glanced at the others to see if they shared his confusion. Logan’s own eyebrows were slowly climbing into his hair and Patton’s head was so tilted it threatened to fall off.

“Don’t…Don’t we already have that?” Paton asked.

Roman huffed. “Of a sort. I’m talking about dressing like our very souls!”

“That’s… a tall order.” Virgil said.

“It’s stupid.” Logan deadpanned.

“Guys come on.” Dad said. “Ro’s trying to do something nice, so Just pick out one outfit, whatever you want. Anything Ro can’t afford I’ll cover, so no limits, okay?”

Virgil begrudgingly agreed and logan nodded. Roman beamed again and dragged them into the store.

“Like Dad said, don’t worry about price. Just find an outfit that calls to your very being! You have about thirty minutes, and after that we’ll meet up back here, but it has to be a surprise, so don’t let the others see you until checkout. And don’t worry if it’s not a perfect fit, Ent Talyn already agreed to help make necessary alterations.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “How long have you been planning this?”

“Get shopping, boys!” Roman shouted. “Timer starts now!”

He bolted to the costume aisle. Logan rolled his eyes and started for the dress shirts. Patton threw Virgil a grin.

“This is gonna be so much fun!”

With that, he bounced towards the pyjama aisle, leaving Virgil pretty much on his own. He looked up at Dad, who offered him a smile.

“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked.

Yes. Virgil thought. There’s no telling what could go wrong in here on my own. Especially if the others have to avoid me as part of the game. What if I start being followed? And everytime I go to them they just turn away? And then I get kidnapped and killed and all they find is my bloody bloody corpse as it oozes and Patton would cry over my coffin and Logan would shut down and Roman would dramatically throw himself in my grave because it’s always got be about him but that’s okay cause I don’t like attention anyway.

On the other hand, he thought, shaking his head lightly. Dad’s probably supposed to pick an outfit too. I don’t want him to spoil the surprise because I didn’t want to walk by myself. The others might tease me for that or worse, they’ll mention it to someone else and they’ll tease me.

He took a deep breath and shook his head, looking up at his Dad.

“No, I’ll be okay.”

Dad smiled. “Okay. Just give me a shout if you change your mind, alright?”

Virgil nodded and headed for the jeans. He knew what to pick for those, at least.

***

Twenty minutes later and he still didn’t know what else to pick.

He had black torn jeans and a ripped up purple tee shirt, which were great and perfect probably the opposite of what Roman wanted. Which made them even better.

But it was missing something. A sweater-type something.

He was wandering the aisles, avoiding the others and wondering if he was allowed to ask for advice after the timer ran out.

It wasn’t until he passed the posters that he even stopped. And that was only because someone had given up a perfectly good Nightmare Before Christmas poster. It had Jack and Sally (obviously), only unlike most posters they weren’t on the twisty hill. Instead they were facing each other in a graveyard, hands entwined and bordered by bats and the twisty-swirls he loved.

It was cool, but he didn’t think he could turn a poster into a jacket. Or anything wearable enough to work.

He sighed and put it down.

If only he could dress like them, now that would be his “very soul.” The Nightmare before Christmas had always been his movie. Even Roman, with all his love for Disney, wouldn’t dare challenge him on trivia for it. If he could, he’d live in Halloween Town and become one with the witching hour.

The outfits in that movie rocked, too. Everyone dressed like exactly what they were supposed to be and didn’t have to muddle through random clothes to please their weird brother. He’d give anything to wear most of them.

Maybe not Jack’s. He thought, nose wrinkling. Suit and tie are more Logan’s biz, little too stiff for me. Although Sally’s dress…

He paused, suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. A brilliant, awesome, totally perfect idea.

“Thank you, Henry Selick!” He whooped before heading for the sweaters.

This might be fun after all.

***

He reached the checkout last, if the bickering was anything to go by.

“You hardly got anything!” Roman said.

“I assure you it’s all I need.” Logan said. “I dress exactly the way I want to, I don’t see any reason to change for a simple picture.”

Roman tugged his hair. “Come on! This was supposed to be a chance to dress up, Microsoft Turd.”

“Same joke.” Virgil said, carefully placing his choices on the counter.

“It’s a variation.” Roman said. “And I can think of a Microsoft Third.”

He frowned. “Did you… only get torn jeans and a tee shirt?”

Virgil smirked. “Nope. But The last part needs some adjustments and I want it to be a surprise.”

Patton squealed. “I can’t wait to see everyone wearing them! We’re all gonna look so cool!”

“Well, everyone but Mister Necktie over here.” Roman grumbled.

Dad ruffled his hair. “Come on, Ro. At least he knows what he likes.”

Logan nodded sharply. “The most serious people wear neckties, and I am certainly the most serious of all of us.”

Dad rolled his eyes. “I don’t know that I’d go that far.”

Logan huffed and crossed his arms, making Virgil laugh.

“Come on, Lo. How many serious people are totally obsessed with Crofters jam?”

Logan’s face went red. “Falsehood! Plenty of serious people have a favorite food! Steve Jobs loved sushi and soba. He used to only eat fruits and starchless vegetables to protect the body from the formation of mucus. His favorite toppings were salmon,fatty tuna and yellowtail. And no one ever said he wasn’t serious!”

“Sure thing, Lo.” Virgil chuckled. “Whatever you say.”

Logan argued his point the entire way home, not that anyone was arguing back.

Virgil smiled to himself, cautiously excited about his idea. He only hoped their Ent wouldn’t have any trouble making it. They were talented, but his idea was… unconventional. He hoped it didn’t stretch them too far.

****

After a week of Talyn assuring him it was fine, Virgil’s idea was finally ready. After announcing it, Roman declared they’d take the pictures tomorrow.

Which Virgil had pretty much expected him to do.

It was annoying, but it would all be worth it when he showed them his outfit. Ent Talyn had even let him keep it at their house so no one could sneak a peek. They’d even suggested an added twist, which, though it would take most of the morning, Virgil had loved it and begged Dad to agree to.

The threat of their judging faces was terrifying, but for now it was overpowered by his anticipation.

***

The day of the photoshoot, Roman found himself growing more and more anxious at Virgil’s absence. Dad had assured him ahead of time that their brother would be gone most of the day, and that it was a Father-Approved absence. But that didn’t mean Roman couldn’t worry over it.

The last thing he wanted was to chase Virgil away again over a stupid idea.

He smoothed out his sash in an attempt to calm himself. Virgil would be back soon. He had to be.

Roman shook his head and turned to admiring his own outfit. He, of course, had chosen the costume of a prince to define himself. A white suit with gold filigree, and a dashing red sash to bring it all together. The only upsetting part was that he’d been unable to find a crown at the thrift store, but otherwise he thought he cut a dashing figure. Surely Virgil would think-

He frowned. Virgil would think it was stupid. Too showy, too flashy, too… much. Just like Roman.

Roman groaned and tugged a hand through his hair. Who was he kidding? All his brothers were making small modifications to what they already wore and here he was, decked out in a full blown prince outfit. Idly, he wondered if there was time to run to the thrift store and re-pick.

The sound of the front door opening answered that for him. He listened carefully to his father’s happy exclamations. Surely that was a good sign. Maybe Virgil had gone over the top like he had, but actually made it look good.

Only one way to find out.

He hurriedly brushed his hair back into perfection and raced to the living room.

He stopped short in the doorway, taking in the view. Standing next to the couch was a boy that, for all intents and purposes, looked like his little brother. Only this guy had purple hair and a jacket that looked like it waltzed right out of Nightmare Before Christmas. It was a hoodie, comprised of both Virgil’s usual black and a purple plaid, all held together by white string.

It looked… amazing. No way this was his angsty, nervous brother.

The boy saw him staring and ducked his head into the hoodie.

“It looks horrible, doesn’t it?” Virgil asked.

Roman flushed, realizing his mistake. “No! Not at all! I think you look magnificent!” He struck a pose. “I mean, it’s nowhere close to mine, but I would say you come firmly in as second-best dressed Vee.”

Virgil’s lips lifted in a half smile. “You think? You don’t think the hair is too much?”

Roman reached over and ruffled said hair. “I think it is brilliant, irridecendent and absolutely perfect. You little Emo.”

Virgil scoffed and ducked away from his hand, but Roman could tell he was pleased.

“So where are the other two?” Virgil asked.

Roman hummed. “They should be here shor-”

He was cut off by Patton’s squealing. Their eldest darted out from behind Roman and tackled Virgil onto the couch.

“You look so good!” Patton said, slightly muffled by both Virgil’s hoodie and whatever gray mass was attached to his back.

“I will say this,” Logan said, stepping around Roman. “That is… a jacket.”

Patton sat up, shooting Logan a playful look. “You know you love it.”

“Well, it’s certainly less subtle than whatever Roman is trying to achieve.” Logan said, shooting his own, more pointed look, at Roman’s clothes.

Roman swept his hands grandly. “I’m a prince! Here to save dashing lady, lords, and non-binary royalty from the clutches of dragon witches and boring teachers like you.”

He poked Logan in the nose, and his nerdy brother looked offended.

“I’m not a teacher.” Logan said, petulantly.

“Oh, then how come you like to stand around giving us useless knowledge all day?”

Patton giggled. “School-ed him! Don’t be mean though.”

Roman rolled his eyes, finally turning his attention to his last brother. Virgil, likewise looked up at the brother currently on is chest.

“Pat, what are you supposed to be?” He asked.

Patton beamed. “Well, you guys are always calling me Mini-Dad, so I looked up pictures of Dads! I found… some things.” Patton’s face paled momentarily, before returning to his usual smile. “But most of them wore khakis and collared shirts with sweaters around their shoulders!”

“But that hardly looks like the traditional cardigan.” Logan said. “It appears much longer.”

Patton’s smile widened. “Cause I found something better!”

He unknotted the “sweater” and laid it on the couch so everyone had a full view. The hood was adorned with two small ears and the rest seemed patterned after a cat. But the strangest thing was that it didn’t seem to end where the waist would be, instead it kept going all the way down to the feet.

“Is that your cat onesie?” Logan asked.

“Maybe.” Patton giggled and ran a hand over the soft fabric.

“Absolutely not.” Logan said shortly. “Not good enough. You will get it dirty and won’t notice until it is time for bed, at which point you will have to go without an I will have to listen to your whining all night. Go get a proper cardigan from our closet.”

Patton pouted. “You never let me do anything fun!”

“Patton…” Logan glared.

“Fine! I’ll get something else.”

“Thank you.” Logan said. “I did not want to deal with the catastrophic effects of you wearing that… thing.”

“Would’ve been funnier if you said cat-astrophic.” Patton muttered, sulking out of the room.

“So…” Virgil said, obviously eager to move to another subject. “Where are we doing this thing anyway?”

Roman clapped his hands together. “Well, I thought it best if we didn’t go too far, so I asked Ankle Joan if they would set up the equipment in the backyard. They acquiesced and even said they’d put a bunch of fake snow and Christmas decorations everywhere to set the mood!”

Virgil groaned. “Outside?”

“Yes outside, Sulking at the Disco.” Roman said. “The natural lighting will do wonders for your fair skin.”

Virgil and Logan made a noise of disgust. Roman grabbed both their wrists and hauled them out the door.

“Come on, fairest brothers! We will meet Patton outside and then,” He paused, throwing a trademarked Prince Charming Smile at them. “We will make the best Christmas cards ever to grace a Sanders’ mailbox.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorty but it kinda establishes an average day in the Sanders house. (Also did all of this on mobile everything so… rip)

It was one of those days where Thomas was glued to his desk. For one reason or another, the all-consuming monster called work had him in its grasp for the day and he probably wasn’t leaving it anytime soon. The benefits to sometimes working from home was that chaos could still crash down around his ears without him having to lose much work time.

Case and point: he was the only one in the living room when Roman sped in and hid behind the couch.

It wasn’t the best hiding place, to be frank. The couch was in the middle of the living room so he was only hidden from one or two angles. You’d have to be foolish to hide there. But Thomas was nothing if not curious.

“Hey Ro,” he said, regarding his most flamboyant son. “What are you up to?”

Roman started and gave Thomas a grin that was a little too wide.

“Nothing much!” He said cheerfully. “Just um… you know, Dad, we never really talk anymore.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “We don’t?”

“We don’t!” Roman exclaimed. “It’s- do you know what that is? It’s a crime. A really real crime. Like a big one. A father and son should make every effort to talk with one another and lay their deepest feelings bare for one another.”

“Uh huh.” Thomas said dubiously. “Okay, so let’s talk. How’ve you been?”

Roman gave a too-wide smile again. “Oh, just dandy! How about you?”

“I’m good, although one of my sons is being a bit suspicious at the moment.”

Even from five feet away, he could see Roman starting to sweat.

“Oh,” he said nervously. “Really? Is that so? Well I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. You know how kids can be.”

He laughed nervously and Thomas’ mouth twitched into a smile.

“Sure do. I’ve got four of ‘em after all. Know them pretty well, if I do say so myself.”

Roman’s face paled. “I’m… sure you do.”

“Yup.” Thomas continued. “I can tell suspiciousness a mile away. I know when one of my boys is up to something.”

“Re-really?” Roman squeaked.

“Really.”

Roman shifted uncomfortably from his spot behind the couch. He took a deep breath, as if about to come clean, only to be cut off by someone upstairs screeching.

“Roman, I’m gonna kick your butt!”

“GottagoDadgreattalk!”

Roman bolted for the door, a streak of red and gold, as Virgil thudded down the steps.

Once faced with his youngest, Thomas had to fight to smother his laughter. He chose to focus on the murder in his eyes rather than the multi-colored glitter in his purple hair.

“Where is he?” Virgil growled.

Thomas shrugged, still battling for a straight face.

Virgil grunted and started stomping towards the door.

“Princey put glitter in all our hair stuff.” He explained. “I don’t care if it’s pride month or Christmas, or the day glitter was invented, that butthead is going to pay.”

“Use your words, not your fists!” Thomas called after him.

Virgil grunted in response, which wasn’t particularly reassuring, but at that moment he got an email from a coworker marked “urgent.” He frowned at it and called Patton down.

He stuck his head down, eyes curious.

“Yeah, Daddy?”

“Patty-cake could you go find your brothers? I don’t want to start June off with Virgil killing Roman.”

“Sure thing, Dadster!” Patton said brightly, skipping down the stairs. “No dead bro-bros today!”

“Thank you!”

Thomas smiled fondly and turned back to work.

Chaos was a constant, no matter where work was.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I am not a twin, by any definition other than Irish. So like… this may be a little off in emotions. I would like to say that when Thomas does it, it’s more that parent thing where they go through every name in the universe before they say yours. I’ve had that happen to me a lot. And done that to my siblings, and vice versa. In first place for that comes my little sister, who once called me by her own name. I’m in second, having once called her by the dog’s name.

Logan carefully breathed through his nose and he reached over to Patton. His brother unhooked his hands from his backpack straps and linked their fingers. Logan squeezed lightly, sending a silent thank-you for knowing exactly what he needed.

Patton gave him a smile and reached to his other side and grabbed Virgil’s hand too. Virgil scowled, but reached for Roman’s hand all the same.

This was their usual formation for the first day of school. Be it a new grade or a new building, they all needed the small bit of reassurance.

“So,” Roman said. “I think we managed to swing the same homeroom this year but I’ve got a different math period right after.”

Patton hummed thoughtfully. “I think Sloane is in that class. So you won’t be totally alone.”

Roman frowned. “True. At least there won’t be a struggle to remember which one I am.”

Virgil scoffed. “You think you’ve got it bad? My hair should be enough of an indicator of that. And yet no one can seem to remember which of the quads has purple hair.”

Patton giggled. “We could just all dye our hair. Oh! Then we could swap the way we used to! You know, back in grade school?”

“That sounds like a fantastically bad idea.” Logan said. “If you will recall, we got in trouble for that countless times.”

“Yeah, but my grades jumped,” Roman mused. “Might be worth doing again just for that.”

Logan gave him an exasperated look. “We are not switching places just so you can avoid doing your own schoolwork.”

“Dang.”

“I just wanna do it for fun,” Patton said. “I wanna see how many people we can confuse this time.”

“Considering how many people confuse us without compromising our personal aesthetics, it’s a short list.” Virgil says.

He and Logan both let go of a hand and share a high five. Patton pouted.

“Little upset you’re ganging up on me, but I’m glad to see you working together!” He said.

Virgil rolled his eyes, smiling fondly, and Logan found himself making an identical face. His brothers were ridiculous, but endearing.

“Well,” Roman said. “Onwards and upwards, brethren! Middle school is not going to conquer itself.”

Logan furrowed his brow. “I don’t think we can really-”

He was cut off by Roman starting to run towards the school building, dragging the rest of them behind him to the entrance.

***

The homeroom teacher paused when she got to their names in roll call, making Logan sigh internally. It never failed, did it?

The roll was alphabetical, according to everyone’s last names. Which meant that the four of them were all in a row, which tended to make people do a double take. Quadruplets were rare, sure, but not so rare that they were entirely unheard of.

The teacher shook her head and smiled brightly before calling Logan’s name.

He raised his hand and said the required affirmation, and his brothers followed suit. Establishing which quad was which.

Logan gave it a day before she slipped up.

***

“Logan, stop reading ahead, please.”

Logan jolted, both from having been caught and from being addressed by the correct moniker.

He nodded once and their homeroom teacher smiled before moving on with her lesson.

Once her back was turned Logan exchanged a glance with his brothers. They all shrugged, each one communicating a different phrase in a language only they were privy to.

‘I guess that happened…’ Said Roman’s.

‘Lucky guess?’ Said Patton’s.

‘Lucky guess.’ Said Virgil’s.

Logan shrugged back to convey his own confusion. In all probability, it likely had been a lucky guess. A guess she wasn’t likely to repeat.

***

To Logan’s surprise, their homeroom teacher kept making lucky guesses. She never addressed them more than the other students, but whenever she did she always had the right brother.

It was… incredible, really. She should take that luck to Nevada and try her numbers in Vegas. Patton was inclined to believe she actually could tell them apart, but he always had been the optimist of them.

Unfortunately he swayed Roman to his side and was slowly whittling down Virgil’s pessimistic resolve. Even now he was re-arguing his points to their bleaker brother on their way to the classroom in question.

Logan grit his teeth and turned to face them.

“Alright fine,” He said. “I consider myself a scientist of sorts. And any scientist worth their salt would know that in order to gather information you need to conduct an experiment.”

Roman furrowed his eyebrows. “So… Are we going to swap places and see if she still gets it right?”

“Nope.” Logan said matter of factly.

He turned back around, ignoring his brothers’ widened eyes as he quickly marched to and into the classroom. They were the first to the room, and the teacher was seated at her desk, rifling through papers.

Logan slammed a hand down in front of her, making her head jolt upwards.

He kept his face neutral and his voice level.

“Which Sanders am I?” He questioned.

She blinked at him. “Logan?”

He squinted, leaning closer to her. “Is that a guess or a fact?”

“A fact.” She answered.

Logan squinted harder. “Have you ever had to guess which of us was which?”

“The second day,” She admitted. “You’re clothes were changed and I had to go off where you were sitting. After that it got a lot easier.”

“Are you going off our clothes alone?” He asked suspiciously.

“Well they help, but it’s not just that,” She said. “You act differently, too. And there’s some small differences.”

“What kind of-”

“Logan!” Roman barked, pulling him away from their teacher’s desk.

He offered her an apologetic smile. “Sorry ma’am. He just lets his big brain run away from him sometimes. You can only think in so many directions at once, right?”

She smiled softly. “Right.”

Logan yanked his arm out of Roman’s grasp. “Yes, thank you for making me look foolish, but I wasn’t done. What sort of small differences are there?”

“Well, Patton has less freckles, for one,” She said, listing it on her finger. “Hardly any, especially compared to you. You practically have galaxies written across your nose, Roman. Logan comes second in that because he’s got freckles, but less of them. And Virgil has a beauty mark right next to his eye. Your eyes are also different shades of brown. Logan and Roman have darker and Patton and Virgil have lighter. It’s only a couple shades but I digress. You also wear your hair differently, and your body language is different depending on who you’re talking to.”

She smiled at them brightly. “How’d I do.”

“Amazing,” Patton breathed, stepping into the room. “How did you know all that?”

She shrugged. “I remember being a twin at your age. I hardly ever got called by the right name. I can’t imagine if there had been more than one name to pick from. So I try and make an effort to tell my students apart.”

“You’re a twin?” Virgil asked quietly.

She nodded and pulled out their phone. She showed them her background, where she and another girl just like here were squished into the frame.

Logan was shocked. “You really have been telling us apart then? It wasn’t a bunch of lucky guesses?”

She shook her head kindly. “Nope. You guys aren’t nearly as alike as me and Shelly anyway.”

“Shelly?” Roman asked. “Why Shelly? It’s a bit niche isn’t it?”

“My mom was an avid Frankenstein fan,” She explained. “Hence the names Mary and Shelly Pierce.”

Patton giggled. “Oh, that’s clever!”

“She sure thought so. Now skitter, it’s almost time for class.”

***

“And then she told us we could talk more after class. We didn’t have time though, because someone-” Roman half-heartedly glared at Virgil. “-was worried about missing class. so we’re gonna do it tomorrow.”

Roman punctuated his statement by shoveling mashed potatoes into his mouth. Dad winced, but smiled as he passed him a napkin.

“That’s awesome, bud!” He said. “Just make sure you chew that before you swallow.”

“I’s ‘ashed po’a’oes,” Roman protested. “Don’ go’a c’ew em!”

“Do it anyway. So how were all of your days after that?” Dad asked.

Virgil shrugged. “I dunno. A couple kids thought it’d be funny to throw purple crayons at me during Art. But we also got chicken nuggets for lunch so, you know. Pros and cons.”

Dad frowned. “Patton, honey you don’t have to put up with that.”

Virgil started to reply before he paused. “Patton?”

Dad’s eyes were confused before his face dropped in realization.

“Oh,” He said. “Oh I’m so sorry. Here you were telling me a story where someone was able to tell you guys apart and I just-”

“Nice to meet you, Patton!” Patton said, holding his hand out to Virgil. “I’m Virgil!”

Virgil shook his hand, smirking. “Nice to meet you, too. Tell me, Virgil, how do you feel about Tim Burton.”

Patton’s face screwed up in thought. “Well I think Henry Selick deserves more of the credit for the animated work, but his live action movies are pretty cool! I mean- they’re alright. Dark and broody and awesome like me!”

Virgil snorted. “Hm, maybe I should make some Nightmare Before Christmas food to celebrate that. After all everything deserves a celebration, and I like making food.”

Patton’s eyes sparkled. “Aweso- I mean, uh, cool. What are you gonna make?”

Virgil shrugged. “I dunno. Probably something clever. I’m smarter than everyone gives me credit for.”

“As adorable as this is,” Dad interrupted. “Can you both stop, please? I get the point, I messed up.”

He turned to Logan desperately. “Roman can- No Logan. Whatever your name is can you help me get them to stop!”

Logan calmly turned to his brother. “Greeting Patton, Virgil. My name is Roman.”

“No!”

“Salutations!” Roman said in his most clipped voice, undercut by his cheesy grin. “That’s a nerd way of saying hello. I am Logan.”

“All of you have betrayed me!” Dad said, slapping a hand to his forehead.

Logan narrowed his eyes at Roman. “Yes, well. Pleasure to meet you Logan. You might have to spell that for me, there are music lyrics where my critical thinking should be.”

“I know that should be an insult, but I’m taking as a compliment to your lyrical memory,” Roman said. “Come on, Roman. We all know you’re the most attractive one of us all.”

“We have the same face.” Logan deadpanned.

Roman shrugged. “Maybe so. But I think you wear it best, Roman. After all, you don’t have big nerd glasses in the way of your freckles.”

Logan rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Virgil and Patton.

“I would like to switch name change partners with someone.” He said.

“Hey!”

“I’ll switch with you, Lo- I mean- Roman.” Patton offered. “I’ll be Roman and you can be Virgil.”

Their dad groaned. “Please. No. Have mercy.”

Virgil arched an eyebrow at him. “We do this every time you mix our names up. How are you not used to it by now?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can accurately say that this ran in a different direction than I meant it to, but I think this is much better than what I had planned at the start of this fic. Just wanna say in advance that this is probably the last we’ll see of Clay as major character. I’m gonna let him fade into the background now, I think. Partly because I don’t want to fully redeem him, and partly because he was literally only supposed to show up for the prologue thing. And now we’re here. -_- I also just couldn’t see Patton leaving things alone. I love him, but he’d be the most likely to Parent Trap everyone else, and he’s got the heart of a golden retriever. But there’s also no way Virgil would just Let Him, so yeah, there’s this now. Yeet.
> 
> Warning: Sympathetic Deceit

The last thing Patton was expecting when he was sneaking out of the house was for Virgil to be there when he opened the door. He jumped back a bit, beyond surprised as he thought his brother was upstairs listening to music.

Virgil didn’t react much. He just raised an eyebrow, arms crossed.

“Where you headed, Pat?” He asked.

Patton laughed nervously. “Oh, uh- well Julien and I have a date tonight so I we’re meeting up at a Steak ‘n Shake before heading to the movies.”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed dubiously. “Uh-huh. And how are you planning to work around the fact that he’s grounded? Is he sneaking out too?”

Patton blinked. The fact that his boyfriend was grounded completely escaped him. He’d forgotten that his brother, Asier, had lit the kitchen on fire and doomed them all to the house for a week.

“Um,” Patton stammered. “Well uh… No he’s-”

Virgil sighed, arms and suspicious expression dropping. “Look, I’m not gonna judge you for whatever’s going on, but I’ve seen your phone.

“I didn’t mean to!” He corrected hastily. “You just left it next to me one day and you got a text from someone called ‘C,’ asking to meet up for dinner tonight. I know you would never cheat on Julien or anything, so I figured it was something else but…”

Virgil looked up at him, eyes desperate and pleading. “I just worry, Pat. This C person could be anyone, with any kind of intentions. There’s a lot of bad people in the world and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Patton’s resolve softened, and any defensiveness melted away. He hesitated, though, biting his lip as he mulled over his options.

“I…” He paused again, gathering his thoughts. “It’s not anything bad. But the rest of you aren’t going to agree with it anyway, and I don’t want to… I don’t know, start a fight? I don’t know I just.”

Patton sighed heavily and looked Virgil in the eyes. “I’m going to see Papa.”

Virgil’s eyes widened and he took a step backwards.

“You’re what?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. “After all that happened you’re going to see him?”

Frustration boiled in Patton’s stomach and he groaned.

“See, this is why I didn’t say anything,” He said. “I know everything that happened, but that was years ago! I… It was so long ago, Vee. I’m not excusing it, but I think he deserves a second chance. Doesn’t everyone?”

He watched Virgil’s eyes search him, practically seeing the wheels turning in his head. Eventually Virgil exhaled and looked away.

“Yeah. Yeah okay.” He looked back up at Patton, determination gleaming in his eyes. “But I’m coming. Not every time, and maybe not after today, but I’m coming this time. And if he does anything stupid I’m gonna… I don’t know, tell Dad or something.”

Patton beamed and leapt forward, pulling Virgil into a hug. He heard Virgil groan in protest but felt his arms wrap around him anyway.

After a few minutes Patton let him go and linked their arms together. He smiled and started walking down the driveway.

“Come on,” He said. “We’re going to Denny’s.”

***

They walked into the diner, and Patton desperately hoped Clay had gotten his text about having a plus one. He bit his lip nervously as he looked over the sea of tables. Before too long Clay stood up and waved them over. They started towards him, Patton eagerly and ignoring how much Virgil was dragging his feet.

They sat down across from him and Clay smiled awkwardly.

“Well, uh,” He stammered. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way, Virgil, but I’m glad you’ve joined us today.”

Virgil didn’t say anything, instead slouching further in his seat.

Patton cleared his throat. “So- uh- how are the twins?”

Clay’s eyes brightened and he anxiously jumped onto the new subject.

“Oh they’re fine,” He said. “Nice and dandy. Grades are slipping a bit, but they’re only six so it’s hardly a big deal.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Twins?”

Patton nodded and opened a picture on his phone. In it two small boys were wrestling on the ground, one in a small leather jacket, the other in a long-sleeved button down. He showed it to Virgil.

“Remington and Shamus,” He said. “Our- well, our half brothers. I only met them a few months ago, but they’re the sweetest little things, really.”

Clay nodded. “I mean, they’re a pair of troublemakers most days, but they mean well.”

Virgil arched an eyebrow, glancing between the picture and Clay, then finally back to Patton. Patton winced, practically able to see the snarky comments on the other side of Virgil’s mouth.

Virgil shifted, looking back at Clay with what probably looked like a passive face to everyone who wasn’t his quadruplet.

“So,” He said. “Twins, huh? Who’s their other parent? That kinda thing generally takes two, doesn’t it?”

Patton winced again, but Clay just let out an awkward laugh.

“Well you wouldn’t have known her,” He said. “She was a friend from work, originally, but… yeah. Anyways, she died just about four years ago now. When they were three.”

Patton saw Virgil’s eyebrow twitch. “Right. Sorry to hear that. So… What kind of work are you doing now?”

Clay shrugged. “IT work mostly. Nothing fancy but it puts food on the table and, you know, keeps the table there.”

Virgil nodded and hummed noncommittally. Patton squirmed in his seat uncomfortably.

He stood suddenly. “I… have to go to the bathroom. Vee, can you order for me?”

Virgil nodded and Patton left for the bathroom in a desperate attempt to escape the tension.

***

Virgil absently played with the salt shaker as he tried to figure out how best to convey to Clay that it would be in his best interest to leave Patton the heck alone without shattering his brother’s naturally forgiving nature.

Before he decided on a proper method, Clay cleared his throat, breaking through his thoughts.

Virgil looked up at him and Clay suddenly looked… shy almost. But nonetheless determined. Virgil scowled at him, and he faltered, but shook his head, determination returning.

“Virgil, I want you to know,” He said. “I don’t have any ulterior motives for meeting with Patton. I- I won’t say that I’ve changed, because that would… cheapen what I did, I think. But I want you to know that I am genuinely trying to be better than I was. And if you’ll let me- not that you have any obligation to- but if you’ll let me, I’d like to start rebuilding some bridges.”

Virgil pursed his lips, mind torn. On the one hand, he could definitely see where his second-guessing nature came from, and Clay seemed genuine enough.

But on the other hand, the mistake he was apologizing for had shaped their entire lives. It was no mystery why Patton had expected backlash for even talking to him. They’d all spent so long being mad at him that Virgil had almost forgotten how not to be.

Patton was made of forgiveness and Logan had probably repressed the whole thing, but Roman? Dad? Ankle Joan would probably punch Clay if given half a chance, and for good reason.

He’d walked out. Simply put, he’d walked out.

But… he had more kids now. That made, what, six of them total? Guess the fifth time was the charm, because despite it all Clay seemed to be trying. That probably counted for something, right?

But what made Remington and Shamus so much different? What made him stick around for the twins and their mom, but not the quadruplets and Thomas? And who named a kid “Remington” anyway? That was just asked for them to get bullied.

Virgil exhaled heavily. “Look, man. I get it, really I do. And I’m trying to play nice here for Patton’s sake. But you’ve gotta understand where I’m coming from here. I have virtually no reassurance that you won’t leave again at a moment’s notice.

“I’d almost be okay with that if it weren’t for Patton. Because if you walk out a second time it’s gonna break his heart. But… it’ll do the same thing if I tell you to keep away from him so you two can go ahead and keep meeting up or whatever. Just know: I have my eye on you. If you do anything to hurt my brother I’ll be taking some rather drastic measures.”

Clay blinked before chuckling slowly. “You sound like your dad.”

Virgil stiffened, not quite sure what to do with that sort of comment.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad,” Clay assured him. “I just meant that your loyalty runs deep. I accept your terms, Virgil. Now, what would you like to eat?”

***

A few more months passed by before Patton casually mentioned to Virgil that the twins wanted to meet him. Evidently they were fascinated by the idea of having four big brothers and couldn’t wait to meet more than Patton.

Virgil was reluctant, but eventually agreed. It helped that they were technically going to babysit them while Clay was working late, which meant they’d only have the briefest of interactions with him, and then they could go.

The house itself was a lot like Virgil remembered from his attempt at running away. Homey and niche, but mostly clean.

The biggest difference was the shrieking that came from inside when he and Patton stepped through the door. Virgil jumped as his brother was immediately tackled by two small bodies. Patton just laughed and hugged them back.

“Patty!” The one in a sunglasses squealed. “It’s been five-ever since you were here. No, six-ever!”

Patton laughed. “I’m sorry, kiddos. Just couldn’t get away any quicker. I brought someone with me, though!”

The two pulled away and Virgil was faced with three large brown eyes and one yellow.

He saluted shyly. “Sup?”

The two tackled him, knocking the wind out of his lungs and the support out of his legs. The three of them went crashing to the floor, but the twins seemed unphased by their sudden approach to the earth.

Probably because they landed on Virgil.

They propped themselves up, looking at him properly.

“You don’t look anything like Patton.” the one with a yellow hoodie said.

The one in leather gasped. “Omg, you’re right, he does! You must be one of the quads, right? Which one are you? Roman? Logan?”

“I’m Virgil,” Virgil grunted. “Which one are you?”

Leather Jacket stuck a thumb to his chest and puffed it out proudly.

“I’m Remy. And this is here is Shamus, but you can just call him Sham.”

Sham nodded at Virgil. “Displeasure to meet you.”

Virgil frowned. “Look, kid, I’m not sure what the attitude’s about-”

“Oh no!” Patton interrupted. “No, no, that’s just how Sham talks. He’s got a speech thing where he can only talk in backwards-logic. He says the opposite of what he means.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow and looked back to Sham.

“That true?” He asked.

Sham shrugged and nodded. “No.”

“Cool.” Virgil said. “I mean it’s probably a pain, but hey, least you own it. I’ve got some experience with that, myself.”

The twin’s eyes widened.

“You do?” Remy asked.

“Uncool.” Sham breathed.

Patton chuckled. “Yup! Vee, here, is a real pizza work in progress. Speaking of, have you guys had dinner yet?”

The twins scrambled off of Virgil and said they hadn’t. Patton led them to the kitchen, a sore Virgil following not too far behind.

He watched as Patton led the two through the motions of making homemade pizza, a common staple of the Sanders’ house. And if the twins’ faces were anything to go by, it would be a staple of the Sanders’ babysitting visits. Virgil chuckled and turned to his phone to play while they were occupied.

After a few minutes a small voice coughed and he looked up. Sham was sitting next to him, looking a little unimpressed.

“Hey bud,” Virgil said. “Why aren’t you helping Pat?”

Sham shrugged, dual-colored eyes rolling. “They clearly need my help. After all there’s so many spoons and bowls to mix with, I’m obviously needed right now.”

Virgil glanced over to Patton and Remy. Remy had a bowl of sauce and was going hog wild on it, and when Patton wasn’t trying to get him to slow down he was giving Sham an apologetic look.

“Besides,” Sham continued. “I wasn’t thinking about what you said earlier. About not having any experience? I wasn’t wondering… what you didn’t mean?”

Virgil paused a moment, trying to translate the sentence.

“Oh,” He said. “You want to know what I meant by having experience owning your pain?”

Sham nodded eagerly. “Are you nothing like me?”

Virgil shrugged a little. “Not exactly. I don’t think anyway, but I don’t really know where your speech thing comes from. Nah, I’ve got anxiety.”

Shamm tilted his head. “Anxiety? I’ve heard of that.”

“It’s kinda common, actually,” Virgil said. “Though not generally found in groups of six year olds, I guess.”

“We certainly aren’t six and a half!” said Sham, looking offended.

“Sorry, sorry,” Virgil held up his hands in surrender. “In groups of six and a half year olds. Anxiety isn’t that unusual when you get older, though. It just means… well you know how when you’re scared your brain has, like, a little switch for what to do about it?”

Sham nodded slowly.

“That’s called your fight or flight reflex,” Virgil explained. “It tells you whether you should run away or punch something. And it’s activated fear, which is activated by anxious feelings. Like, going with the whole switch thing, your brain has to press the anxious button before it can press the fear button so that it can use the fight or flight switch. You follow?”

Sham nodded again. “I totally see how this relates to anxiety.”

“I’m getting there,” Virgil assured him. “Your brain has to decide what things are a good reason to press the anxious button. For some people it’s heights, for others it’s spiders-”

“Creepy-crawly-death-dealers!” Patton interrupted.

“Case and point.” Virgil deadpanned. “But anyway, anxiety means that my brain gets confused about when to press the anxious button, so it’s almost always pressed. Some days it’s better, to where it only actually gets pressed down once or twice, but other days it’s been taped down and the whole day sucks.”

Sham’s eyes widened. “That sounds awesome!”

Virgil shrugged. “It is what it is. I’ve learned how to live with it, now. I take some medicine, and I see a special doctor every week.”

Sham’s eyebrows furrowed. “An ordinary doctor?”

Virgil nodded. “Yup. A special doctor for my brain. It’s called a therapist.”

“How does he make it worse?”

“Mostly we just talk.” Virgil said. “He lets me talk as much as I need and together we try to figure out why my brain sometimes tapes my button down.”

Sham’s eyes sparkled. “Do you think a therapist would be unable to help me?”

“Maybe, those kinds of doctors are called speech therapists. I’ve never met one before, though, so I can’t say.”

Sham gave Virgil a wide smile. “Therapists sound horrible! I can’t imagine being one.”

Virgil smirked. “Hey, you do you, kid. Just don’t let anyone else tell you what you can’t be.”

Sham’s smile fell into a sly smirk. “Then… can I be nothing like you?”

Virgil blinked, the question taking a second to register.

“Uh… well I don’t think you’d want to be.” He stammered. “I mean- well there’s not really a reason to-”

“Too soon!” Sham crowed. “I’m not you, now!”

Virgil groaned and looked to Patton for help. Like a traitor, though, his quad only laughed. Virgil let his head drop to the table. But in spite of himself, he felt a smile tug on his lips.

***

Patton shoved his phone into Virgil’s face and Virgil pulled away so that he could actually read the words on the screen.

C: I don’t know what you’ve done but Shamus won’t stop talking about purple hair and therapists. And the two seem related somehow??? But I can’t figure out how.

Me: Oh, that was probably V, lol.

Me: He and S had a long talk last night while me and Re made dinner.

C: Well send him a thank you for me. It sounds like Shamus moved on from his goal of being a street magician and his hero, Dylan Rhodes.

Me: Lol, will do!

Me: I’ll let V know he’s got a fan.

Me: ;D

Virgil grimaced and looked up to Patton’s beaming face.

“You’ve got a-”

Virgil cut him off with a groan and buried his face in his hands.

Patton laughed. “Aw, come on! He likes you!”

“No,” Virgil moaned, using up an entire lung on the vowel. “I’m not idol material. Why did you suck me into this?”

“I think it’s cute!” Patton said. “Besides, you’re a good example for getting the help you need. Plus you’re a pretty protective person. You’ll make a good big brother, Virgil.”

Virgil groaned again. It wasn’t that Sham was a bad kid, quite the contrary. He was just a kid who deserved a better role model than someone who could be defined as “the anxious quadruplet.”

Patton’s phone dinged and he cooed.

“V! There’s a picture!”

Reluctantly, Virgil pried his fingers away and looked at Patton’s phone.

Sham had his hair pinned back with barrettes in various shades of yellow and green and he was on a step-stool facing a bathroom mirror. An eyeshadow palette was open in front of him and he was smearing a dark green under his eyes.

Virgil’s mouth twitched into a small smile.

Okay, maybe having a kid half his age idolize him wasn’t all bad. At least it meant he’d listen when Virgil taught him how to put on eyeshadow properly.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Siblings are… interesting. Aren’t they? Especially this group of them. I know a large portion of us consider them our pure boys but let’s be honest here: they can be jerks. Add in the kids factor and well… it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Of the four I feel like Roman and Logan have the most potential to hurt each other, too. There’s so much fire in both of them, that it sometimes spills over onto one or the other. Which is probably better than hurting anyone else but still. Lesser of two evils. 
> 
> This part definitely brushes up on how Roman can hurt Logan but as for the reverse I want to do like Thomas and ask a question. How often has Roman been called stupid?
> 
> Warnings: Siblings fighting, name calling, being given the cold shoulder, royal tears.

“And that concludes my presentation on why, though get rich quick schemes are biased towards those who already rich, there is a small amount of advice we can take away from them.” Roman finished with a bow.

The class applauded lightly and Ms. Hastings smiled at him.

“Thank you, Roman, for presenting an… inventive side of the argument,” She said. “It certainly isn’t something I would have thought of.

He smiled back at her, mouth feeling tight and fake. He nodded at her and took his seat.

The rest of class passed quickly. Ms. Hastings congratulated them on their arguments and promised to get their papers back to them within the month. She gave them some “parting words of wisdom” that Roman tuned out and effectively dismissed the class.

Roman quickly stuffed everything in his bag and bounded out the door, waiting just outside of it for Logan. His quad gave him a strange look when they reached each other. Roman just shrugged and started walking to their next class, Logan falling into step beside him.

“Did you actually believe any of that?” Logan asked.

“It was for a grade, Uno Roboto.” Roman quipped back. “I didn’t have to believe it.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “You’ve already used that one. Also, while you may be correct, I know you well enough to know when you are impassioned and when you are acting.”

Roman fought the urge to snort at that and instead tapped his finger against his chin in thought.

“Have I really?” He mused. “Well it is a pretty good one, so I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“I’ll let you have your delusions,” Logan said. “Especially if you actually answer my question.”

Roman huffed. “I didn’t believe… all of it.”

“So you are telling me you think there is a moniker of truth to the presentation you just delivered.” Logan said.

Roman turned to face him, starting to walk backwards so his brother could see just how exasperated he was.

“There was some truth to it,” He said. “Sure, get rich quick schemes always start with already being rich, but there is something in them that we can take away from them. An inkling of wisdom. There’s-”

“Corner.” Logan interrupted.

Roman course corrected. “Thanks. -something to be said about the American dream. The idea that someone can go from rags to riches, from cellars to ballgowns. All on their own merit.”

“Perhaps,” Logan said. “However the people and books you were quoting did not exactly start at the rags end of the scale that you just presented.”

“Well no,” Roman said. “And I believe I stated that several times. Were you actually listening to my presentation?”

Logan shrugged. “I will admit, I was not paying as much attention as I could have been. I have grown used to tuning out your dramatics.”

Roman ignored how much that stung and stuck his tongue out at Logan.

“Rude!” He said. “Anyway, my entire point was that their advice may have been flawed, but the dream they are projecting is achievable.”

Logan snorted. “Hardly. Riches such as they suggest are virtually inachevable. As you said, they start out rich, and then achieve greater riches through the methods that they suggest to others.”

“They aren’t mutually exclusive, Lo.” Roman said with a roll of his eyes. “I’m not saying that it’s possible to get where they are, but I don’t think the idea of a Cinderella story should be discounted. Anything is possible if you truly put your mind to it. The heights that can be climbed by an ordinary person are undefinable.”

“Ah, I see,” Logan said. “So this is one of your fantasy-esque delusions. Now I understand.”

“Hey!” Roman protested. “Just because it’s a little out there doesn’t mean it’s a fantasy!”

“No, the fact that it’s unachievable makes it a fantasy.” Logan said dryly.

Roman’s frown deepened. “It is so achievable! People do it all the time.”

“Name one.” Logan said.

“Oprah.” Roman said. “She didn’t start out as a household name, you know. At one point she was nothing but a twerpy journalist.”

“I will admit that is a decent enough example,” Logan said. “However, that is not enough data to make the claim that ‘it happens all the time.’ Were you to stake that claim you would need to state the name of someone who achieved it within the year.”

“Well sorry, I haven’t checked any recent headlines!” Roman huffed. “And just because I can’t name one off the top of my head doesn’t mean that the American Dream is dead.”

“Only idiots think that,” Logan said. “And those who are brainwashed by the government. I suppose you fit both criteria.”

Roman scowled. “Whatever, Le-no-vo. You just won’t accept that I have vision.”

“A vision for the impossible, perhaps.” Logan said. “Certainly not for the garbage can you are about to walk into.”

Roman twirled around it, landing next to Logan and walking normally.

“Listen, I can do anything I set my mind to,” Roman said. “As Patton would say ‘it’s garbage can, not garbage cannot.’”

“That didn’t even make sense so I am electing to ignore you.” Logan said. “If you go through life believing you can achieve the impossible, you will be setting yourself up for heartbreak and failure. It is far better to be realistic and logical in this regard.”

“It is not!” Roman said. “If you reach for the stars you may fall short, but at the very least you may have a moment where you touch the clouds.”

Logan arched an eyebrow. “You are getting increasingly nonsensical.”

“Ugh! You just don’t get it because you don’t let yourself dream!” Roman snapped.

Logan scowled. “Well at l don’t have my head stuck in the clouds I claim to reach for. I like my feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you. That is where they belong.”

“Yeah, if you want to be boring!” Roman said. “What is life without living it?”

“I don’t think you understand what that word means,” Logan said.

“No, you don’t!” Roman said sharply. “I understand it perfectly, but you aren’t understanding my meaning. If you walk through life aiming a little higher than you can reach, yes you might be dissapointed, but that is better than never having aimed at all.”

“Ro, you are growing borderline hysterical.” Logan deadpanned. “If you would please just calm down-”

“No!” Roman snapped, practically growling. “No, I won’t! I’ll calm down when you start listening to me.”

“I am listening,” Logan said calmly. “You just aren’t making any sense.”

“I am making perfect sense. You just don’t understand it because you have the same capacity for imagination as a machine!”

Roman slapped a hand over his mouth, regretting the words as soon as they were out. The emotion on Logan’s face died and his eyes went cold.

“Lo,” Roman stammered. “I- I didn’t mean that. I-”

“It’s fine, Roman.” Logan said, voice too calm and collected to be anything but a mask. “I understand what you mean perfectly, you have made your point. If you will excuse me, I believe my class lies in the other direction. Away from idiots who cannot think before they speak.”

Logan turned sharply and walked away. Roman let him go, part of him still gaping like a fish at his own stupidity.

Did fish even gape? Who cared?

Logan would. Logan would know too but…

Roman fought back the sob in his throat. He’d really messed up this time.

***

Logan didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day, which was… awful, but understandable. Lo needed his space, he got that. What was much worse was the fact that Virgil wasn’t talking to him either, just shooting withering glares in his direction. Patton would at least try a few times, but he was always directed elsewhere before Roman could respond.

“Why don’t you just talk to them?” his friend Shane asked. “I’m sure they’d understand if you explained it.”

Roman thudded his head miserably against the desk and groaned.

“You don’t get it.” He said. “We have two rules, and I just broke one. Nay, not broke, I shattered it in a moment of heated passion for little to no reason!”

Shane pat his back sympathetically. “I’m sure that’s-”

“It’s not okay!” Roman interrupted. “Imagine if Rachel was continuously bullied for something-”

“Don’t have to imagine.” Shane said.

“Right, sorry. But that makes an uncrossable line, right? Something that you would never say to her. Even in anger. But that’s… what I did. And even worse, I did it over nothing. A pointless argument about something idiotic.”

“Okay I see what you mean,” Shane tried again. “But-”

“No buts.” Roman said. “You wouldn’t call her a boy, I should never call Logan a robot. It’s… it isn’t as extreme, but it is inexcusable to the four of us.”

Shane sighed. “Okay. I get it. But… you’ve gotta have faith that it’ll work out. Their your brothers, Roman. They can’t avoid you forever.”

“They can try,” Roman said glumly.

“Well… So can you.” Shane said.

***

Thomas got suspicious when Virgil slept in Patton and Logan’s room that night. Which was… normal. Ish. There were a lot of nights when the quadruplets just needed to be together. “Womb to tomb” as they put it.

What wasn’t normal was the fact that Roman wasn’t joining them. He’d watched Virgil drag his blankets and pillows to the other room, and waited for roman to follow, only to be met with silence.

He frowned and made his way to their room. Something was up.

He started to open Patton and Logan’s door when a small sniffle caught his ear. From the other room.

He turned sharply and cracked open the door.

A small bundle of blankets was curled up on Roman’s bed, occasionally letting out a small, miserable sounding sniffle.

Thomas sighed and walked over to sit next to him.

“Roman?” He asked quietly. “You doing okay?”

“Roman isn’t here, please leave a message at the beep.” Answered a miserable voice from under the covers.

Thomas chuckled. “You gonna sound the beep, then?”

“No. Machine’s full.”

“Okay.” He said. “Well then can you tell me why you’re in here and everyone else is in there?”

The bundle was silent for a long time before Roman’s face poked out of the covers. His cheeks were streaked with tears and his eyes redder than his favorite scarf.

“I messed up.” He said. “Big time.”

Thomas frowned. “What happened?”

“Logan and I were arguing about something and I got mad and called him a robot.” Roman said, voice sounding scratchy from tears. “I broke one of our rules. Don’t make Patty cry, don’t make Virge feel bad for being anxious, and don’t call Lo a robot in a serious context.”

Thomas rubbed the approximate area where his back should be. “You guys make jokes about it all the time. Heck, even Logan’s made a few. Why is this time so… serious?”

Another tear fell down Roman’s cheek. “Yeah we make jokes, but thats all they are. It’s like… trying to make it ours. If we joke about it, it’s not true. But…”

“But you used it in an argument and that makes it feel true.” Thomas finished.

He let out a heavy breath. “Kiddo, I’m not gonna lie, this is pretty serious. But I’ve got a couple serious questions for you. The first is: did you mean it?”

Roman gave Thomas an indignant look. “Of course not! I would never say… I would never say it and mean it. It slipped out before I could stop it.”

“Okay, that brings me to my second question,” Thomas said. “Have you tried explaining that to him?”

“Yeah,” Roman said, sounding miserable again. “But he won’t talk to me and Virgil won’t let me get close enough to make him listen.”

“Okay. Well then do you want me to send him in here alone or do you want to stay and be sad a bit more?” Thomas asked. “It’s okay to want to stay sad for a bit, just so you know. You can visit sad city, but I don’t want you to live there.”

Roman was quiet for a bit, thinking.

“Can we stay here for a bit?” He asked quietly. “I think I need a bit to be upset before I’m ready to try again.”

“That is perfectly alright, Roman.” Thomas said.

He shifted them both until he was better situated on the bed and Roman was on his lap. They lay there for a good forty minutes in not-quite-peaceful silence before Roman declared himself ready.

Thomas gently left him be and crossed the hallway, already donning the mask of stern father. He knocked on the door and Virgil answered, scowl dissipating as he saw his father.

“Oh.” He said. “Hey Dad, I was expecting someone else.”

“Roman?” Thomas asked.

Virgil bit his lip nervously.

“Can I come in, please?” Thomas asked. “I need to talk to you guys.”

Virgil wordlessly widened the door and Thomas walked through. He plopped himself on Patton’s bed and Virgil joined the other two on Logan’s. Thomas ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of the right Parent Words for this situation.

“Look guys,” He said. “You have every right to be mad at him. What he did wasn’t exactly nice in any way.”

Virgil snorted at that and protectively put a hand over Logan’s. Logan gave it a small squeeze before letting go, eyes pinned to the floor and face unreadable.

“However,” Thomas continued. “Shutting him out without letting him explain isn’t nice either. I will agree that calling names like that when you’re angry isn’t good, but maybe if that’s going to happen we shouldn’t use them when we aren’t mad either. Jokes sting, whether they’re meant to or not. They bury themselves in your head until you’re thinking all kinds of ugly things.”

Patton shrunk in on himself, trying to melt into the covers.

“I know you guys have your rules, and that’s really important.” Thomas said. “The three I heard were good rules. But I’m going to make you a new one, okay? No more jokes like that. To anyone. If it would hurt someone when you’re angry, don’t say it if you aren’t. Let’s keep this from happening again.”

The three nodded and Thomas gave them a small smile.

“Okay. Now, I understand the need for space, but Logan, I think you should talk with Roman, just the two of you. He’s more upset that he said that than he is at all of you giving him the cold shoulder. Can you do that right now, or do you need a little bit longer?”

“I can do it.” Logan said quietly.

Thomas nodded again. “Please do. We’ll be on the couch when you two are done.”

Logan nodded back and slid off the bed, slowly heading to the door to try and fix a broken bridge.

***

Roman honestly hated crying. It felt like every hole in his face suddenly got clogged and he couldn’t unclog them fast enough before more showed up. Not to mention your face got scrunchy and wet and everything was just gross.

Roman knew that was probably a vain stance to take on a human emotion, but he couldn’t help it! He just didn’t like anyone seeing him when he was crying.

Which might be why Logan’s face looked a bit softer when he made no attempts to hide the tear-tracks on his cheeks.

Logan sat on his bed, not saying anything.

“I’m sorry.” Roman whispered. “I know that’s not enough, but I figured it was a good place to start.”

Logan’s mouth pinched but he still didn’t say anything. Roman winced but as Logan wasn’t stopping him, he kept going.

“I didn’t mean it, honest.” He said. “I don’t even know why I said it, it’s not like the argument was important. I just got mad over something stupid, and my mouth just… ran away with me. I… I really am sorry, Logan, and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes for however long. You don’t even have to forgive me, you don’t even have to be nice just… talk to me again? Please?”

Logan sighed aggravatedly. “You really can be an idiot, sometimes, Roman.”

Roman winced and Logan continued.

“Of course I forgive you, moron.” He said, voice as clipped and matter-of-fact as ever. “I just… I wanted to be absolutely certain that you didn’t mean it. It… it hurt a lot, Ro.”

“I know.” Roman whispered, more tears pooling in his eyes. “I know, and a million novels couldn’t contain how sorry I am.”

Logan’s mouth twitched into an annoyed smile. “I can tell. I forgive you though. Just… I- it still hurts a bit. It may not tomorrow, but, as you would say: “the wound is still fresh.” I am going to require a bit of time to recuperate before we can call things… what’s the word? Even stevens?”

“I think the word you’re looking for is square.” Roman said, lips cracking into a grin.

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I thought that meant boring.”

“It means a lot of things.”

“Ugh, I will never be able to catch up with these.” Logan flopped onto his back, staring up at Roman’s ceiling.

Roman giggled.

“Hey, Lo?” He asked quietly.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Logan glanced at him, softening infinitesimally. “I love you too, Ro-ro.”


End file.
